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Fighting Brings Me Down.

My depressed older sister and my twin fought. (Not physically)

Like the entire argument was over something stupid, like my older depressed sister likes to force her demands on people regardless of what they're doing at the time and she expects to be followed like some army sergeant. YES SIR! NO SIR!

You see my depressed sister has an authoritarian chip on her shoulder whenever someone
says no to her she sees it as an act of disrespect. 

She still see's both me and my Twin as children, despite the fact that we are in fact
both 20 year old adults, perhaps the whole act of LISTEN TO YOUR BIG SISTER
works when maybe you're 13? Not so much when you're already 3 years past the legal drinking age In Australian (18) or when you're old enough to drive a car or go to a pub by yourself.
So naturally they think they can control people, who are in fact ..grown ups?

So of course I had to be the medium and talk to them both (because someone needed to be mature) my twin has a problem of acting way over-emotional and kinda selfish (sometimes they come off as if they're using people often not giving people back the same kindness they get) admitted they can be a butt-hole while my depressed older sister has a problem with blowing things out of proportion (like they will register a problem that's probably a level 2 and ramp it up to a level 9 ) and taking the answer no as a general.

They (My depressed older sister) will in-fact make you sit for an hour talk just because you didn't want to let's say make them breakfast, or get them a drink of soda. Really ridiculous stupid things that could last a mere seconds they somehow turn it into this massive talk about responsibility over anything stupid for a couple of hours. 

Responsibility to them translates as =if you're not doing what I'm saying at every point and serving me like a princess because of this I deem you're not responsible and I will use random examples that have nothing to do with argument to show you. (So yes they are super manipulative, but they don't think anyone else is smart enough to see that, when we can all plainly and clearly see it)

 I mean I could have just left (despite the fact its late at night) but another complication came into the factor, at the time I was minding our smallest and youngest family member my little sister who has a disability, because my mom was working at her office space (a space she rented out) and she had to get an assignment done I was baby-sitting them. 

So I personally really dislike baby-sitting my little sister at home cause at any point my older depressed sister could start crap and I am forced to sit through it. 

So my twin brother himself also has a bit of a chip on their shoulder, because you have to realise my depressed older sister has been using the whole IM OLDER THAN YOU , STRONGER THAN YOU AND SMARTER THAN YOU for like years now to get whatever they want, even before (like ages ago, not now) using physical violence to push the point across. 

So my twin does not like being told what to do from then, mainly because they seem to use that excuse for just about anything, they were also incredibly mentally abusive back in the days so everything kinda makes me twin and I extremely guarded about  them, like we don't like or trust them at all. 

I really hate being in situations like this, but I don't know what to do. 
My mothers busy at work and when she's busy and im baby-sitting my sister I am literally trapped at home (especially night time)

I don't want to have to deal with stupid arguments anymore and immature fights between immature people, I want to have a peaceful boring life and they're ruining it frankly. 

Any advice? Because I feel trapped and helpless. 

P.s (I'm setting up some counsellor talks further down this week) 

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Re: Fighting Brings Me Down.

Hey @YunoGasai,

This sounds like a really tricky situation to be in. I think you are handling it really well even though it is wearing you out.

 

I find when my family have fights it usually starts because someone is in a bad mood already and they pick a fight over the smallest thing which would usually go unnoticed - similar to your current situation. 

 

It sounds really overwhelming having to deal with your sisters authority. You are your own person - don't let anyone control your decisions. You mentioned she is depressed, would you be up to talking to her about it and letting her know that she shouldn't be acting like this towards you and your twin. I can imagine it would be really annoying having to be in the middle. 

 

Depending on who you have the closer relationship with maybe you could sit down and have a chat with them about it and let them know how you are feeling etc. etc. I think it's a really good idea to do something about it before the situation worsens.

 

Sorry if that was no help at all! Good Luck!

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Re: Fighting Brings Me Down.

hi @YunoGasai

 

sounds like you are in a really overwhelming situation! is there someone in your family or who you live with who you feel safe to talk to about this? and could they help in trying to improve the relationships. 

 

you also deserve to be respected and deserve to look after yourself, so remember to practice some self-care after these hard times even if its only for 5 minutes. 

 

is there a teacher or school counsellor that you would feel comfortable talking to about this because it may help 

 

hope all goes well! Smiley Happy