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Going through a rough patch

Hi everyone,


Tonight I’m really really struggling. Smiley Sad


My recent friendship issues have started to really take their toll and I feel like a complete and utter failure. I honestly don’t want to bugger things up on the forums like I have with my friends, but I don’t know who else to turn to right now. I’m currently studying my Masters degree, but I really don’t see how I’m going to get through it, considering that I nearly ended up in hospital last year - the issue is that because of the course structure, if something did happen, I would need to wait at least 2 years before I could finish it - which makes it rather imperative from my point of view to just be able to get on with it this year without any problems. I’m in a really good degree and it’s something that I really want to do, but I really don’t know if I’m good enough.


I’m trying to get things done and do my best, I really am, but often the results just leave me wondering about my future - I am even having thoughts tonight about whether I even have a future. Now, while I know these are not the most helpful thoughts, it doesn’t seem to make them any less intense.


I’m going to book in with a uni counsellor/psychologist when I can - hopefully in the next week or two - and hopefully I will be able to have a meaningful relationship with this professional that will help me get through everything.


Thanks for reading guys - let’s hope tomorrow is a little brighter.

Re: Going through a rough patch

Hey @mrmusic it sucks when we are going through friendship heartbreak and it totally seeps into every other aspect of our life - including work/study. It's totally normal to feel like it's having an effect on your masters, but definitely doesn't have to ruin your study schedule.


When you are thinking about the friend stuff and it interferes with your work, what kind of thoughts are cropping up?


The psych idea is also awesome, well done.


Will tag some others too - @roseisnotaplant @scared01 @j95

Re: Going through a rough patch

Hey @Bree-RO thanks for the reply. I should just clarify that last year my hospital admission was not just about my friendship woes - although that did not help. The main reason for the hospital admission were suicidal thoughts, and whilst these do still pop up occasionally, I have enough insight at the moment to recognise that they are just thoughts, and that I don’t need to act on them.


As I said in the other thread, I am really having trouble seeing a psychologist at the moment because I have had so many bad experiences with them in the past. But it’s got to the point where I have to see someone because I need the help. I’ll keep you guys updated with how that goes.

Re: Going through a rough patch

Hey @mrmusic if you are anxious about seeing a psychologist have you tried something like eheadspace I found a few years when I first signed up with them they were really helpful with transitioning to face to face (well for me, returning to it). Like they even passed on some of your info if you wanted them too then offer to call you up after your first appointment to check on you
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Going through a rough patch

Interesting idea @j95, thanks. Would you by any chance know if the referral you’re talking about is just for headspace or other psychologists as well? The only reason I ask is that headspace were really good to me in the past, but the 10 session limit really mucked things up - it meant that the good relationship I had with that psychologist (the best I’ve had actually) was over, and I still needed help - and headspace would not accept paid appointments.


But again, thanks!

Re: Going through a rough patch

I'm not sure I think they might speak to a private one too with your permission but eheadspace/headspace obviously work very closely together. oh that's interesting , I have been going to headspace for a long time
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Going through a rough patch

Hey mrmusic,

There's a lot of self doubt there and it's great to see that you have recognised these thoughts as negative. The next step would be to tell yourself that these negative thoughts don't help you or help you to achieve your goals. 

University is hella stressful, even more so since you're completing your Masters. When you start to doubt yourself in terms of study, take a step back. You've finished a Bachelors, with a good enough grade to get into a good Master's programs! That's no easy feat in itself so you shouldn't doubt your abilities, or underestimate your capabilities. 

In terms of an university counsellor, I'm sorry that you've had bad experiences before. I've been to two different university counsellors and they were very helpful so not every university has bad counsellors. I say give it ago, if you don't like it then it's just an hour of your time and I think you can suggest to change counsellors if you don't like the one you saw. 

Re: Going through a rough patch


I see how you are feeling and you’re trying your best to stay positive. As of recently, I have also been feeling that way and being in a situation where thinking about life during and after school is a difficult thing especially with other issues contributing to it. I’ve been though friends breaking up and having to leave people I’ve known nearly my whole life to start it again with a bunch of people I don’t know. I just wanted to say that its best to try and think positive and see if there are other friends of yours who can help you out with anything. Dedicating time to be alone and using whatever genre of music to listen to a d get work done is a way I use to keep myself from reacting to situations such as social life, work life, etc.

I’m not really helping too much but you can keep trying to stay positive and have stuff around you to keep you in a more stable mind state.

“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” - Henry Ward Beecher

Re: Going through a rough patch

Thanks @Jeplar and @LeoTheLion for your support.


I’m not feeling much better today. Smiley Sad These painful thoughts about my future have been circling round my mind all morning. I don’t really know what to think - nobody has directly said this to me, but I’m really getting the impression that nothing I do is ever good enough, even little things.


I’ve got things to do this afternoon, so I hope that I will not be impacted too much.

Re: Going through a rough patch

Just remember @mrmusic we are our own harshest critic and if we get caught up in that mindset it can be really damaging for our self-esteem and motivation. When you find yourself heading down this track it can be helpful to practice some mindfulness and compassion... Have you tried any of the mindfulness apps out there?