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Re: HOCD or in denial?! I feel like I'm losing my mind

i understand you completely, i think what’s throwing me off is i don’t want a relationship at the moment, with boys etc. i came to terms with that and my immediate reaction was so you’d want that with girls. I know deep down this isn’t the case but my mind is trying to convince me, it’s like visioning things with girls and making them so realistic that i believe them, maybe i’m A-sexual i thought? maybe i’m just not ready. whatever i am i’m going to try not to stress it, it’s just i have constant headaches, panic attacks, cannot sleep because i wake up thinking about it. it’s awful, really awful. but i know this is what everyone says but if i see a pretty girl, old me (prelockdown) if i had thoughts with someone, it would just be there so pretty, i’m jealous. something like that. but now i worry whenever i see someone pretty, all it makes me think is my life is a lie i’m a lesbian. 

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Re: HOCD or in denial?! I feel like I'm losing my mind

Hey @annoymous1234 

Things sound pretty rough for you right now and lockdown isn't helping. I think that @Amber-Marie has provided some really good insights about their experience. As they have said it would be good to talk through this with someone, could be a friend or a mental health professional if it causing you to have panic attacks. We have also had some really good discussions here about sexuality  that you might want to check out to help you navigate what is happening for you.

 

Just a heads up this community is only for Australian users, so we wont be able to provide you support ongoing, we have sent you an email to touch base.