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Hard Days

Lately days have become harder for me.

i don’t find motivation in nearly anything, I’m eating pretty bad or not at all. 

i feel like getting out of bed isn’t worth it and relationships with friends and people are annoying. 

On the surface things may not appear bad for me... but in reality I’m pretty isolated. 

I have no close family members to talk to and my friendships with people are only surface deep. 

I just wake up and I feel the urge to cry sometimes even though nothing physically bad is happening this could go on for a week or less.

Theres this gross disgusting sinking feeling in my stomach that keeps telling me I’m not worth anything. 

I try to ignore it or counter it with other reasons but it’s tiring.

i feel like somehow I’m not... doing what I’m supposed to. 

Everything feels wrong..

with upcoming uni and family members tugging on me in every direction I feel stressed. 

I never get the opportunity to care for myself without being made out that I’m greedy or selfish.

its getting to the point where I feel guilty for enjoying anything because of this knee buckling pressure where other people want me to be their everything.

im so tired of it.

Theyre also sort of nutty so it’s not like talking about it to them accomplishes anything. 

advice?

Re: Hard Days

Hi @Level01... it sounds like you're really going through a rough time right now. The lack of motivation, isolation, sadness and feeling stretched sounds a lot like some depression. How long have you been feeling this way? Do you think you could talk to a professional about it? Even Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800)?

 

A lot of people think we are being selfish when we are putting ourselves first but the truth is we are self soothing and filling our cup before we can look after other people. I really urge you to keep going with this self care. Sooner or later people will realise what you are doing and they will see it is for the best. Perhaps you are feeling so bad because you haven't been able to engage in proper self care? It is really worth putting your time into it.

 

It would be really good to change one small thing in your day so you're not feeling too pressured. Something like eating a piece of fruit or going outside for some stretches and sun first thing in the morning? Do you think you could add some small self care goals to your day?

 

Keeping a journal is also a good way of keeping track of how you are feeling and seeing if the positive changes are helping. Also, it usually helps getting all of the horrible feelings out of us and onto paper!

 

Lina/RO