Tiny_leaf and letsheal have shown you such awesome support but I just thought I'd step in to say I'm here to talk too!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've had similar experiences of feeling bad about how I look It's such a common thing and it's really really sad that it is. It's so sad when people treat you like you're invisible and don't have any feelings, and it can be so so damaging. I don't know if this is how you'd describe your experience but it sounds like you're in such an isolating place at the moment and I'm so sorry No one should have to feel like they don't belong. Everyone matters and has something to offer the world.
It sounds like you're a really kind and caring person from the concern you show to your grandma and openness to everyone on the forums, so I'd say that's a huge positive!
You call yourself all these horrible things but I wonder why you do this? You certainly don't deserve it.. No one deserves being called those things. Not one person on this world. So why are you calling yourself this? Is it in anyway helpful? Does it protect you from feeling hope that people might care? These labels- they aren't 'truths'. They're just thoughts. What do you think?
People who say or think these mean things- they aren't really targeted at you, they come from people's own insecurities, upbringing, and prejudice. There are always going to be people with unfair views in the world, but it's your choice whether you care about their opinions.. Because there are also people who care and will value you for who you are
Sorry if this sounded a bit too motivational hehe..
Please don't apologise. I appreciate your help.
I don't think i matter and have something to offer the world, I am useless.
I can't be kind to myself, because I know I am not good enough. That's why I believe those people. I have been feeling this way before others started to judge me. My own friends and family don't like me. I actually don't have any friends, because they avoid me too. Everyone hates me and have a problem with me, I do too.
Sorry if I sound so pessimistic, boring, annoying or demanding.
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