Hello

Hi @Tiny_leaf,
Yes, thank you 🙂

If anyone here actually saw me, they will call me ugly, or avoid me. I don't have anything positive. I am ugly, fat, stupid and trash.

Hi @HelloHi (I feel like I just said hi 3 times to you there hehe I love your username :p)

Tiny_leaf and letsheal have shown you such awesome support but I just thought I'd step in to say I'm here to talk too!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've had similar experiences of feeling bad about how I look 😞 It's such a common thing and it's really really sad that it is. It's so sad when people treat you like you're invisible and don't have any feelings, and it can be so so damaging. I don't know if this is how you'd describe your experience but it sounds like you're in such an isolating place at the moment and I'm so sorry 😞 No one should have to feel like they don't belong. Everyone matters and has something to offer the world.

It sounds like you're a really kind and caring person from the concern you show to your grandma and openness to everyone on the forums, so I'd say that's a huge positive!

You call yourself all these horrible things but I wonder why you do this? You certainly don't deserve it.. No one deserves being called those things. Not one person on this world. So why are you calling yourself this? Is it in anyway helpful? Does it protect you from feeling hope that people might care? These labels- they aren't 'truths'. They're just thoughts. What do you think?

People who say or think these mean things- they aren't really targeted at you, they come from people's own insecurities, upbringing, and prejudice. There are always going to be people with unfair views in the world, but it's your choice whether you care about their opinions.. Because there are also people who care and will value you for who you are

Sorry if this sounded a bit too motivational hehe..

Hi @lost_Space_Explorer5,
Please don't apologise. I appreciate your help. 🙂

I don't think i matter and have something to offer the world, I am useless.
I can't be kind to myself, because I know I am not good enough. That's why I believe those people. I have been feeling this way before others started to judge me. My own friends and family don't like me. I actually don't have any friends, because they avoid me too. Everyone hates me and have a problem with me, I do too.
Sorry if I sound so pessimistic, boring, annoying or demanding.

But the reason why people treat me that way because I deserve it. I get anxious talking to people, I am ugly, fat, boring, dumb and can't keep a conversation going.

But thanks @Tiny_leaf

Hi @Tiny_leaf 🙂

It would be good to make friends on here, as I wouldn't have to directly talk to people as it makes me anxious. Maybe I might feel less alone.

Hey @HelloHi (Hey, hello, hi! :p), it's okay 😞 It's understandable you would think that way but that doesn't mean it's right 😞 I'm still wondering how does beating yourself up help fix your feeling that you "aren't good enough"? What would good enough look like?

I'm sorry you feel your family doesn't care and your friends avoid you. I wonder what's been going on to make you think that way?

Tiny leaf made a great suggestion, this is such a supportive environment and it would be great to make some friends here!! What do you think would facilitate making friends on here? (e.g. asking questions, playing games, sharing about yourself, talking through things, etc.?)

Lol, hey, hello, hi. 🙂

I don't know if beating myself helps me. It reminds me to not enjoy things, to not be positive and to not give myself hope, which is good and I think helpful as it makes me aware of what a trash person I am. I deserve to blame or criticize myself, with all the mistakes I have made, with the way I am and other stuff.

My parents hardly spend time with me. They always yell whenever they do. I mostly stay home all day (even before Covid-19) and because of that people find me boring and 'anti-social'. My parents relationship with each other is pretty weak and due to this they hardly spend time with me or take me places. My friends scoff at that and they make their plans of going places right in front of my face, knowing that my parents are also over-protective and won't let me go anywhere. I have one friend who doesn't do that as much, but she has other friends and we aren't that close.

Sorry, I don't know what will facilitate making friends. Sorry

I hope you are doing well.
Sorry for my rant.

Hey, hello, hi 😛

Hmmm it sounds like a bit of negative circular logic there.. "I'm telling myself I'm 'X' to remind myself what an 'X' person I am".. What do you think? Do you think there's a way we could work to break this cycle? The easiest approach might be to start with the thoughts, not so much the core believe that "I'm an 'X' person"? Have you ever tried thought challenging before?

😞 I'm sorry to hear your family is yelling at you.. Yup I've definitely been called anti-social and boring sooo many times haha, did someone say that to you? Your friends don't sound very supportive with excluding you. Although, it seems to be due to your parents being overprotective, and not because of you as a person.

That's okay! Hmm.. It could be just asking someone on here a question, like "what are your hobbies?" What do you think? Btw, what ARE your hobbies? 😛

I'm doing okay, thanks 🙂

Your rant is most welcome on the forums! It's what they're for 😛

Hi @lost_Space_Explorer5,
I don't think I will ever be able to break that cycle.
I was bullied many times in my life.

I am just sick of my life. I have no one to talk to, no friends and my family aren't supportive.

I am really sorry you have been called anti-social and boring too. I don't think you are any of that.

I used to like to play basketball, but now I just can't be bothered playing. There is no motivation anymore. Yep, I know I am boring.

But what are your hobbies?

Thank you for your kindness, it is deeply appreciated. 🙂

Hey hello hi!

I'm sorry to hear you were bullied 😞 That freaking sucks. You've got us to talk to! What do you think about reaching out to some professional supports (unless you're seeing one anyway, sorry if you've already said this)?

I used to do beginners ice skating and play piano but since covid I haven't been bothered going back. Now all I do is draw, go for walks, and watch tv 😞 It's uni holidays at so I've been really bored 😞 So I can relate to feeling boring atm

Hi @lost_Space_Explorer5,

Thank you for being here for me.

The bullying did impact the amount I felt safe to take to people.
I don't think I am ready or comfortable to reach out for professional support.

WOW! Ice skating and playing the piano sounds awesome! I am glad that you are trying to keep yourself occupied, with drawing, walking and watching tv, that is great.

What course are you doing in uni? (you don't have to answer that)

I hope you are doing well. 🙂

It's my pleasure @HelloHi 🙂 We're all here to support each other! Mmm yeah that's understandable you have trouble trusting people with what happened in the past 😞

It's okay if you don't feel ready, I totally understand 🙂 But look at you, you are reaching out on ReachOut! (see what I did there?). Okay this is the second time I've made that joke on the forums... Have you ever thought about doing like online counselling via Kids Helpline? They have a number of different ways of talking to a counsellor, and I'd imagine that would feel easier than someone face to face?

Hehe they SOUND awesome but I'm not even doing them atm 😞 sad reacc

I'm doing....you know I don't even know what I'm doing lol, I was doing a bachelor of psychology, got kicked out and now I'm either doing a bachelor of arts or science they haven't confirmed it with me. I'm studying psychology and latin though! And I'm in my 3rd year and don't know what I'm doing with my life (I think this is a cry for help) 😛

I hope you're doing well too 🙂

Hi @lost_Space_Explorer5,
Thank you for understanding 🙂

I love your jokes!

I have tried KHL before, but I didn't find it that helpful. They just gave me online information pages about depression, body image and something else that I can't remember, haha :).

I hope you do get to be able to continue ice skating and playing your piano.

I think you will get an amazing job! You are really kind, outgoing and smart. You chose really good subjects.
Latin sounds really hard.

Thank you for your kindness and support 🙂

Hehe thank you, humour is my only way of getting people to like me 😉

Awh I'm sorry you didn't find it helpful 😞 They have phone counselling too, which can go into much more depth, but I realise talking on the phone can be really scary. I hope I will continue too! Aha I wish I had your optimism with getting an amazing job lol. Awh why thank you, I feel you are completely wrong though 😛

Latin IS hard I have so many regrets but I am stuck with it I'm afraid!

Hehe you don't have to say thanks so much but it's very sweet! Naww

So you're still in school right? I think you said that sorry if I'm wrong! Do you have a favourite subject?

Hi Lost_Space_Explorer5,
Your sense of humour is really good. 🙂

I don't feel comfortable using the phone. But here it is great to meet people that are going/have through similar things also similar age as me too.
I really think you will get an amazing job!
You are right, I am school, I don't have a favourite subject sorry.

Haha, THANK YOU AGAIN 🙂

No favourite subject? 😞 What about a LEAST favourite subject? (I swear if you easily come up with your least favourite I'm going to have to call you out as a bit of a pessimist/glass half-empty person.. don't make me do it!) 😛 Hahaha my psych asked me if I was a glass half-empty or half-full person and I was like "uh, I don't know, there's no glass? It just depends on the situation.."

Okay, okay. Maybe favourites are too specific. I can never answer 'favourite' questions. What about.. do you have any 'cool' teachers or are they all boring/mean/tired/sad (teacher stereotype there)?

YOU ARE VERY WELCOME 😛

THANK YOU ALSO 🙂 (it's lovely to talk to you!)

Sorry for the late reply @lost_Space_Explorer5

I love the cartoon lol! Wow your english teacher sounds like she has some long standing issues there... yikes. Otherwise you've got some good teachers there! Yeah my teachers were pretty good in high school (mostly in the later years). Lecturers and tutors at uni are pretty cool too but you feel much more detached to them in general? Not that I was attached to teachers in high school, I guess they were just more open and developed a certain rapport in the class. But uni is a bit more distant in my experience! Maybe it's just my uni!