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Help, I am in need of some help deciding

I'm brand new, but i'll just let it all out

 

If I was asked what was the hardest thing that I had to do, it would be a simple answer for me

“When I had to decide where to live, Nevada or Oregon, Grandparents or Parents” If they asked to get further into that I would say this.

 

“We start two years back. It was dinner time when the conversation came up. “Libby, Me and grandpa have been talking, and we think that you are able to choose whether or not to move in with your mom” Grandma said, pausing from her food. Of course I thought “Finally a new start, with no past creeping up on me” but I thought “But if i leave my friends, won’t they be lonely, and what about Annie?”

 

Honestly after that it went ALL DOWN HILL my mom and dad were trying to convince me to move and grandma and grandpa were letting me choose without convincing. It was painful, and hard. But in the end, you know what I chose…. To move. I regret it to this day…. Because….well I can’t say….

 

Now it's summer, of last year…. I was getting to go to visit my Grandma and her new cat Smudge! He was so cute, but time flew by way too quickly and then I had to decide whether I wanted to move back to Nevada or stay in Oregon. I decided to move back, but mom wouldn’t let that happen, she decided to make me stay. It turns out i didn’t have a choice whether i could move (the second time anyway). Now I turn to music for therapy.

 

I am in the middle of my story, and I can’t predict the future, but if I get good grades, there is a 0.000001% chance I will be happy and be able to move back…. I am so conflicted, my conflict:

Good friends, the ability to play on a computer after chores and stuff, but very sad, and being bullied and the people don’t know it (<-Oregon) (Nevada->) Happy, Emotional support, but being homeschooled online, which means less chance of making friends but I have someone to talk to, and i don’t have to keep it a secret what happens at home, because they don’t think about what others think. Plus my grandparents have cats.

 

 

My parents Verbally Bully me and they don't know they are, I put my sadness in a jar, and I have depression.

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Re: Help, I am in need of some help deciding

Hi @AQueenOfManyFandoms welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling sad and depressed, it sounds like a difficult time and it takes a lot of courage to reach out Heart Moving out would have been a big decision and it sounds like you are feeling a bit stuck right now. I'm wondering if you have any supports at home or a close friend you can speak to? It's great that you are practicing some self-care with music therapy. I've also sent you an email. 

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Re: Help, I am in need of some help deciding

Hi @AQueenOfManyFandoms , I know it's Hard what you have been through.You should have a serious talk to your parente and say what you are feeling.Probably, your parents doesn't want you to come back to your city because they don't want you to stay so far away from them .So, I think you should try to enjoy more this city, maybe you could go to the school from this place and try to  make new friends. And during tem summer, you go visit your grandparents.I hope you can get through this well.Bye Smiley Happy

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Re: Help, I am in need of some help deciding

Hi @Tryingtohelp welcome to ReachOut and thank you for your response and support Smiley Happy I'm going to send you an email so please keep a look out for it.