Welcome to the ReachOut forums! That was very brave of you to share with us. Admitting that to yourself is a huge step too. Often one of the hardest steps. So that's something positive to reflect on
You are definitely not boring us, and I think it is fantastic that you have expressed yourself. Alcoholism is quite a common condition and I think many readers will benefit from a topic such as this.
I'm just commenting to let you know that I moved your post out of the "weekly admin thread" and created a new thread for it in the "tough times" section (it was in the "everyday life" section before). Sorry, I'm guessing this is probably confusing for you as you are a new user. I hope you don't mind. I did this to maximize the amount of support you receive.
You said you definitely want to fix your drinking habits. I'm wondering - have you sought professional support - whether it be a GP or a counselor?
I think it's really brave of you to admit your flaws and discuss something so personal on here. I think that just recognising the need to change is a huge first step. It's an achievement in itself.
Alcoholism can be really hard to overcome. I'm sure a lot of members can relate to this topic. Sometimes, it can help to write down some goals, which you can then turn into manageable, actionable steps. It can also help to have a list of other tasks or activities you can do instead of drinking. It's okay to start off small. BeyondBlue has some ideas about moderating or controlling your alcohol use here.
Is there anyone that you can talk to about your drinking? This could be a GP, counsellor, psychologist, trusted friend or family member.
You can also find a lot of online and telephone resources and services which might be able to point you towards finding help. Counselling Online offers free 24/7 drug and alcohol counselling. You can also call ADIS from 8:30am to 5pm on weekdays. They can connect you with services and treatment options in your local area.
There are also some self-help resources such as Daybreak, an app that can help you cut down on alcohol use and replace drinking with healthier habits. There is also this online tool, which can provide you with some suggestions of how to get help based on your level of drinking.
I really admire your positive thinking and willingness to change your drinking habits. Self-confidence can really help with making positive changes. I know that you are capable of achieving anything that you put your mind to.
Feel free to let us know if you need any more support.