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Horrible 2019

Hi there, 

So my 2019 was the worst year of my life I had countless ups and downs but mainly downs due to the fact my mother died roughly 6 months ago but wait there’s more.. my girlfriend fell dangerously sick with a ovarian cyst and blood clots in her lungs and not to mention she went down to 28kg due to complications post surgery, (she is doing great now) and also my grandma had passed away on Christmas Eve. I haven’t had time to confront these things mentally because I’ve tried to keep myself busy but you can only avoid things for so long.. I’m only 20 and I had so many things to ask my mum and to ask for advice even though she wasn’t the brightest bulb but she always said it how it was guided me to an answer to my problems, well now she’s gone and I feel like I’m failing, lost now and I’m not sure what I should do I know it’s a new year new me but I got hit really hard with that and I can’t seem to shake it off some nights 

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Re: Horrible 2019

Hey @NicholasJ,

 

Sounds like you had a really intense and trying year. Dealing with one of those things would be challenging, let alone all of them in the same year. From your post it seems like there's a heap of stuff on your mind. We can definitely feel the pressure to turn over a new leaf and become a completely new better person in the new year, but that puts so much pressure on us to make a whole bunch of changes all at once. It's completely understandable that having a lot of painful thoughts. I'm wondering if you've ever thought about talking to a psychologist or counsellor about how you're feeling. It's really normal for people who have been under a bunch of stress to see someone like this who is trained to help you feel better and deal with these negative emotions. 

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down
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Re: Horrible 2019

Thank you.
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Re: Horrible 2019

Hi @NicholasJ , 

 

Firstly, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your mother and grandma. Losing people so close to us is incredibly painful, and to be dealing with your girlfriend's serious health problems on top of that must have been unbelievably challenging. 

 

You say that you haven't had time to confront those things mentally, and I think that is really insightful - it sounds like you possibly had to just go into coping mode to get through everything, and haven't really had the time or space to grieve those losses. Does that sounds right? 

 

Grief is not a simple process - it is something that is different for everyone, and just because it's a new calendar year doesn't mean that you "should" be over it. 

 

I don't know if you've seen them already, but ReachOut have some great resources on grief and loss that I've linked to here

 

Talking to a professional can also be really helpful, do you think this is something that you may be comfortable with?

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Re: Horrible 2019

No worries @NicholasJ, glad you found it helpful.

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down