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How I feel

I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know why I'm on this website.... To be honest from the outside I have a great life, a great job, a great family, a great group of friends

Yet for the last few weeks I've had this horrible, sinking feeling in my chest that I just can't get rid of.

It feels like a weight dragging me down, it makes me feel miserable and sad, I don't feel like me anymore.

I try and tell my friends but they don't understand, some of them just call me an 'emo' others try and listen and talk but end up talking about their life situations to try and relate and help but it just doesn't.

I am 23 years old. I had a boyfriend of almost 6 years who I broke up with 6 months ago as he left to work in Western Australia. We tried it long distance but it just didn't work. I moved back in with my parents but I don't get along with my mum too well so I moved in with a couple that I know - I've been here for 4 months and I just feel so in the way, I feel like they have been arguing more since I moved in, I feel like they sometimes regret asking me to move in. I want to move back home with my parents but my mum says 'im too old' 'i need to get a life'

I am so lonely. I have four close friends but they all have their own lives with their boyfriends/travels.

I am currently looking to move into a studio apartment alone as I don't have anyone to move out with and I'm scared because I don't want to be any more alone than I aready am.

I am such a lucky person, I have got everything I need and I feel so selfish and stupid for feeling the way I do.

I just don't know how to not feel it.


Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest.


Re: How I feel

Hey lonelygirl,


I am so happy you wrote that post on this cold and rainy (well it is where I am anyway!) Sunday night. It might feel a little strange at first to come on here and speak your mind, but good on you for taking the leap. I really don’t think you will regret it.


You seem to be apologising for feeling down, but there is no need to. One of the great things about coming onto this forum is that you quickly realise that while these feelings might be intense, they are feelings a lot of people struggle with. You are not alone – even though it might feel like you are sometimes.


It sounds like you are going through a really rough patch. We all have them and the first thing you need to do is just try to go easy on yourself. You are dealing with a lot right now and seemingly coping damn well, so give yourself some credit for getting though it all! Don’t think you are being selfish or stupid – you are just looking for ways to feel better and that is such a great thing.


Finding a new place to live is a nightmare at the best of times, let alone when you are feeling a bit down! You might be right that moving into a studio by yourself may not be the best move if you are feeling a bit lonesome in general. It can be hard to find the right flatmate, but have you thought about living with people you don’t already know? There are a bunch of websites like where you can either put up a notice yourself or browse listings of other people looking for flatmates. This could also introduce you to some new people that may turn out to be friends. I know people who have made lifelong mates with people they met seeking share accommodation. Why don’t you at least have a browse of these sites and see what you find?


It also sounds like you could do with a good chat with someone to, as you say, get these feelings off your chest. While this forum is a great place to chat and empathise, it sounds like you also need to have a one on one chat with a good listener. If you don’t feel like any of your friends or family are in the right space to listen right now, what about giving Lifeline a call on 13 11 14? They are great at listening and just talking it over with someone could really help.


OK that is enough from me for now. Let us know if any of that advice is helpful and let us know how you get on. And just remember, whenever you are feeling a little bit blue, you can always find some kindred spirits ready to give you a virtual hug here. 

Re: How I feel

Hi lonelygirl. +1 to BennyW's reply.

I was in a similar position two years ago and it took me a while to really figure out what was missing. I felt lucky and like I had everything I needed but something didn't feel right. It made me miserable… but after some deliberation, I learned what it was and I needed to make some changes in my life to make it happen, and that included giving some things up.

The most important thing to understand is that you're not alone. Friends and family will be there and, if they're not, there are always new friends waiting in the wings to do so. Smiley Happy

We're all here to listen and help out. Please feel free to keep sharing with us and let us know how you're going.

Re: How I feel

Just wanted to say I like the line - Friends and family will be there and, if they're not, there are always new friends waiting in the wings to do so.


New friends are always just around the corner.


Just thinking about all the interesting friends I can make is a pretty exciting thought.

Re: How I feel

Hey welcome to the forum.

I can relate to you on this one in my own round about way.. ill try make it short for you

im 26 years old my g/f broke up with me a few months back and ever since that i have felt the same way. very lonley

my parents want me to move out because im "to old"


Dont feel selfish and stupid for how you feel..... everyone can tell you how you should feel.. how you should act.. but they are not you! we are different.. with all thats going on for you its only natural to be feeling so crap.. you have let go of someone you have been with for 6 years.. you feel rejected by your mum and it builds from there..


i think you should start trying to meet some new people.. get some fresh faces in your life.. maybe even start dating again..

you are lonley now but you wont be forever.


like one of the other posters suggested if you must move out on your own why not try shared accomodation with some new people?


Lastly.. id love to know how to not feel things.. but if you care about something you are going to feel

if you shut down how you feel and ignore things it will just come back to get you later.

ive been finding that looking up ways to help manage negative thoughts and emotions and maybe you could start there.. its not an instant fix but its helping me get through to a degree maybe you can try to


I hope your feeling better soon


Re: How I feel

Hey lonelygirl just checking in to see how your doing with everything.