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How do I stop myself from going under?

I'm not into this kinda thing, but lately I just feel like I'm stuck. I had a pretty rough start in life but luckily I had my grandparents who raised me. I never expected to be much in life and like most of us teens I decided to waste it by drinking copious amounts of alcohol and sleeping with boys to make my self confidence boost and make me feel like I had a place in life. Every relationship I had only lasted a month if that. My mother was an alcoholic, she died last year a few days after my 24th birthday. My nan is the only other of my close family left - apart from my dad who I only met when I was 16 but of course being so a like and so much lost time, we don't have the amazing father daughter relationship I used to fantasise about when I was younger. But enough about my childhood & teenaged years, let's move on. Currently I'm 24 years of age, I'm working in a job that offers great experience and I should be thankful for but I just don't see a future in it, I'm stuck! All I want to do is work in the accommodation industry but it's rare that opportunities in such small towns come up and I can't move any further from home than I already have. Last year not too many months after my mums passing, I lost my licence ironically to drink driving, I've just got my licence back after paying out unlimited costs to receive it back, but now my car is stuffed up and I'm struggling to decide what to do as I'm not made of money. I have an amazing fiancé who I love with all my heart, he is my best friend my soul mate and my rock but sometimes I find it so hard to talk about what is going on..I don't know why but it just seems easier to talk to someone who doesn't know me and can give me a fresh outlook. I don't believe I have anxiety or depression but I just can't seem to see the positives at the moment, I'm continuously looking for answers I'll never get, I'm broke, unhappy in my job and it's stressing me out to the point of constantly being unhappy. I know my problems may not seem like much to some, but have you ever had a dream that you see yourself doing and your fighting so hard to get it but it's just out of your reach? That's what I feel like with my career, my love life, my financial life, my personal life and every other thing. What do I do?! I can't just quit I have too many bills to pay and I'm looking to get married and start a family (if I even can) next year, how do I get out from under this dark cloud? Why am I even feeling like this in fact what is making me feel like this?!? I just can't even deal.

Re: How do I stop myself from going under?

Hey there @Nikkah, sorry you are going through all of this. Unfortunately I am logging off for the night in a few minutes, but it sounds like you have ALOT to deal with right now and it's quite overwhelming for you.

Can I check in to see if you are getting any professional help? Through your GP? Counsellor? Psychologist? Talking about a dark cloud shows something maybe going on with your mental health that's making it very hard for you to cope.

Hope this helpful, and there will be plenty of support from the forum members here if you need to talk/chat so great job in getting in touch tonight =)


Re: How do I stop myself from going under?

I certainly do have quite a lot on my shoulders, somehow I'll get through it all but I just want to spend every possibly moment I can being positive. I can't afford to visit the GPand certainly not a councillor or a psychologist - nor do I have the time to take it off work. Not having a car also means it takes me at least half an hour to get anywhere haha. Thank you for your reply.

Re: How do I stop myself from going under?

Hey @Nikkah, and thanks for sharing parts of your story with us!

I can definitely empathise with not having a car - it does make transportation rather more complex, right?

Do you reckon you could try a phone counselling service, like LifeLine, for some kind of in the moment support?

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: How do I stop myself from going under?

Hi @letitgo it most certainly does, walking to work in -1 is pretty trying sometimes but I'll get there, it's not that, that bothers me the most it's losing all my freedom and not being able to travel home, see I'm stuck in another town for work and the fact that I should be back driving is the worst part. I haven't thought about it, I find it difficult to speak my mind in person or over the phone

Re: How do I stop myself from going under?

What about a web chat counselling service where you can chat @Nikkah? We're her to support you too, but it sounds like some one on one time would be good too Smiley Happy 

Re: How do I stop myself from going under?

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. I think @Ben-RO offered great advice, what do you think?


Plus, we are also here for a good chat or rant Smiley Happy