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How do i connect?

My family has always moved around alot, I've been to seven different schools in five different countries all across the world. lots of other terribly depressing stuff happened within my family, but suffice it to say my mum was unhappy with her marrige and so took it out on me. eventually she had an affair and now my parents are divorced. However since we moved back to australia i've felt disconnected from everybody i know. i've tried to get close to others by talking, but i still feel really lonely. i don't know how to feel clse to anyone other than my family and i'd rally apreciate any help or advice you can give me.

Re: How do i connect?

That's a really difficult question. I think ultimately in order to connect with someone you need to spend time with them. For example, I've found that if you throw a group of people together for a couple of days, they're all going to come out of it better connected and more comfortable with each other. Well in our day to day lives we don't generally have the luxury of spending a few solid days with the same people, but that's why it's so important to make time to spend with people. So try going out on weekends with the friends that you have, use social media to keep in contact as much as possible. Try to find some common ground on which you can talk about things, because it will give you something to connect over. I think the more you get to know someone, the easier it will be to connect with them. And this doesn't all have to be about talking, even just noticing things while you spend time with each other. 

 

I'm not sure if this next bit will apply to you or if it's just me, but I've always been someone who really loves serving the people I love. So in times when I've found myself in a situation where I'm more or less "forced" to care about someone who I genuinely don't really like, I've always done my best to serve them in whatever way I can, help them, listen to them, love them through actions even if I don't really feel it. After some time I'll find that I do geniunely care about the person, moreso if I've really grown to know them well. Perhaps that's something you'd like to try.

 

Not sure if that helps at all, but those are just my ideas. Good luck. 

Re: How do i connect?

Hey Zebble66, welcome to Reach Out!

 

I'm sorry to hear that your family life has been a bit turbulent. My mum did the same thing - had an affair, got divorced and dragged us over an hour away from where we used to live. It was tough just moving to the other side of the city, so I can't imagine hard it must be moving across the world.

 

Are you feeling disconnected from your old friends because you've grown apart while you were away, or are you having trouble relating to people after all you've been through? If you don't feel like you can talk to your mates about how you're feeling, or you don't want them to know, don't be shy to speak to a counsellor at Kid's Helpline (1800 55 1800) and get it off your chest.

 

I believe there is a famous quote that says something like "we invented the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, but we invented the word solitude to express the joy in it".  If you're not finding the joy just yet, this fact sheet on loneliness has some coping strategies to help overcome it.

 

We're always here for you, so please know that you're never really alone!

Re: How do i connect?

Thank you

 

Re: How do i connect?

Hi Zebble 66.

One thing I've found really useful is to talk to people with similar interests. Do you have any hobbies that you like doing? Maybe do some research on the internet and find a local place where there's a club or interest activity that you can join.
Also have you thought about volunteering? It's a great place to meet new people and it really gets you involved in the community as well.