I always dreaming of people dying and always depressed.
hey everyone, lately I'm depressed all the time every day. My parents doesn't understand me. I don't know why I'm feeling depressed. But it's killing me. My friends also pushed me away. I'm not that happy and chatty person. I have no one to talk to and trust. My brain started gone blank. I started to be quiet. I can't go to doctors because I don't trust my doctor. My parents say I'm not crazy and you don't have depression. I tried everything from writing, exercise, meditation and aromatherapy. It's hsrd to go to headspace or hospital because of my parents and I don't drive. I can't talk to people anymore. I feel lazy. And it's hard to open up and express how I'm feeling. I live with parents and I don't have a social life anymore. Mostly stay at home crying. ;(
I have a bad dream about someone dying every night. I'm worried all the time. I think I'm going to die, what do you think I should do?
Thankyou for sharing with us and welcome to the forums at RO.
I'm really sorry to hear how much you are struggling with feeling down and depressed, and also how you feel like you don't have any support from your parents or any friends. It must be so hard not feeling like you can talk to anyone about this. I'd just like to let you know that we are all here (at ReachOut) to help you through the hard times, and to chat to you when you don't feel like you can talk to anyone else.
You are NOT crazy. Perhaps your parents don't want to believe that their child isn't happy. It must be hard for them to see that you're upset. Depression can feel like its weighing you down and keeping you from enjoying or doing the things you used to love doing. Here is a fact sheet about depresion. Is there anything you still get enjoyment out of? Do you have a hobby around home?
I'd like to say "well done" for giving all of those coping strategies a go (writing, meditation, aromatherapy etc...) it takes courage just to recognise that you need to use a coping strategy. That's really positive. I encourage you to keep trying to find a coping strategy that works for you. This is a fact sheet with some examples of strategies you could try.
You said how hard it is to see your doctor. Is there a reason you don't trust them?
I also encourage you to call lifeline on 13 11 14 for a chat about this stuff if you don't feel like you can talk to anyone yet in person. This is also a great resource for heaps of other help services for depression.
I'm sorry to hear that you're having bad dreams. Sometimes reccuring or frequent bad dreams are a sign of stress. Are the dreams upsetting to you?
I hope that your mood improves, and that we can help you through the difficulties you are facing. We are here to help,
Thanks for sharing how you're feeling at the moment. I'm sorry to hear this seems like a recent change for you too. That can definitely be worrying when we notice things are more difficult to manage or even just not quite how they used to be. I'm also sorry that your parents don't understand how you're feeling and you don't trust your doctor. They are often the first people we talk to when something no longer feels right. I can imagine how isolating this must feel but I want to assure you that there is help available and it doesn't have to feel like this anymore. eheadspace is a great resource for those geographically or socially isolated; they have online, phone, and email support. Would you consider giving this a go?
I am also really keen to hear more about you and especially the inspiration behind your username. Do you play an instrument or have a passion for a particular type of music? Maybe you'd like to describe yourself with a song over in the introductions thread.