I am lonely
I don't know wtf to do anymore. I am by myself nearly all the time, I only have one friend and he can never come over because of his stupid ass parents. I'm getting to the age where I need to start making decisions about the future but the only thing I want to do is make movies, but i know that's not a stable career. There is someone in my neighborhood I really want to ask out but never see them outside and don't know them well enough to knock on the door. I hate my family to such an extent that I'm dreading easter. I rarely feel happy anymore, the closest i get is when i'm excercising or playing guitar but even that doesn't last. And im homeschooled so there is not even an option to meet people at school. I really do feel miserable often.
Re: I am lonely
Heya @marshmallow and welcome to the forums!
Sounds like you're going through a lot, well done on taking the first step by jumping online for some peer support. Do you feel like the loneliness could be due to your homeschooling? That's amazing you play guitar. Ever thought of joining a music organisation I think there's a few out there such as The Song Room or Freeza. Being lonely is really unsettling, we all go through it; it's definitely not forever you sound super insightful and really intelligent.
Also making movies is totally a viable goal! People just like to shut the lid on others dreams because they're too scared to have a go themselves.. My mother actually worked in film and television for a long time and you totally can pay the bills off a career like that What sort of movies are you into?
Re: I am lonely
Hey @marshmallow, thanks for sharing some of your story with us
It's really tough to feel so lonely; plus it sounds like there's all that anxiety over what to do with your future...and family problems, it sounds like. You've got heaps on your plate at the moment!
I reckon making movies would be an awesome career personally! No reason why you couldn't try to achieve that - I'm pretty sure there are some tafe courses in things like audio visual studies and media and entertainment, something like that could be an option!
I was homeschooled too, and even though I enjoyed it, it can be hard to have a limited social circle and to be locked in to spending so much time just with family. The cool thing about homeschoolers is that there are actually quite a lot of us! Maybe you could chat to your parents or have a look online and try to find some homeschool groups that you could join? I know when I was growing up, there was stuff like homeschool drama groups, music groups, art classes. You could even set up a group yourself and see if there's some other homeschooled young people who might be interested!
Maybe you could check check out this ReachOut factsheet as well? http://au.reachout.com/all-about-loneliness
It's really awesome that you enjoy exercising and playing guitar. What kind of songs/music is your favourite to play? I find music really helpful when I'm feeling lonely. Do you like making movies at home as well? I really want to make a short film but I'm not quite sure how to go about it...any tips to share?
Re: I am lonely
Making movies is an awesome dream to have what kind of films are you into/want to make?
Do you have this person you want to ask out on any social media accounts?
Re: I am lonely
Listen, decide on what you want to do not based on how stable it is or how much money you will earn but rather what you will feel most fulfilled doing. If you become a surgeon only because it pays well, you will never be happy. You will only come to regret it and think about the what ifs. Follow what you are passionate about and do what you love. If you truly love something you will work hard and not give up and the effort is what "pays" off.
Can you not talk to your friend over phone, email or Skype. No matter how far you are, your friendship is still there. There are many ways to connect with someone without them being in person. Please share with your friend how you feel, they cannot help you or support you if they do not know what is wrong.
Ask yourself, why do you hate your family? Think about their choices and try to understand it from their point of view. Could some of what they are doing be what they think is best for you? Do they have good intentions but have a bad way of communicating it? Is there some sort of unintentional misunderstanding? After thinking through this carefully, then talk to them about it and try to come to some sort of mutual understanding. It is healthier that way and it may even improve your relationship. Some people do not have family who care for them, so even if yours get on your nerve and you disagree, deep down they still care and love you.
Make chances to meet with the person in the neighborhood. How about you try selling cookies or chocolates and use that money to donate to charity? That way you can both do something good for others less fortunate but you also have an excuse to knock on their door and talk to them. After a while and you get to know each other better, then maybe things can progress and you can make a new friend or something more. Otherwise, go to a club or places they go to. School is not the only way to make connections. You may just meet new people and find out you have similar interests or learn things you have never known before.
Have you ever tried busking or volunteering? Since playing the guitar brings you joy, why not play for others to enjoy? Everyone loves music and it brings people together. One way to not feel miserable is to bring a smile to other people's faces and share in their happiness. You will find that people will appreciate you and that all that effort is worthwhile. With volunteering, you can even build close relationships with the people who meet with regularly. Remember, family is not only by blood.
Best of luck,
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