I am not ok
I am really really not ok and my psychologist is leaving, I have no supports not that they are helping anyway. I am done with everything I can't take this I can't I am so tired and I just want to cry I can't eat I can't sleep I can't relax and I am just fed up everything is an absolute mess and there is nothing that can help me anymore. Please don't tell me there is hope or that things get better or to talk to a helpline or to talk to a professional none of that has ever helped and it never will. I just needed to vent and if anyone tells me I am strong or that I can get through this I think I will loose it. I am so so so tired or all the crap.
Re: I am not ok
I'm sorry that your psychologist is leaving. It must really suck to have that one person who you could talk to not be there for you anymore. I think its understandable that you're sick of people telling you to get professional help as if it will just make all your negative feelings go away. I think sometimes the best person to help us is ourselves, no one knows us better than ourselves. But it can be really isolating and lonely when we shut others out. It's hard to face things on our own and that's when we need people to confide in, to listen and to understand us. Not everyone knows what to say or understand how we feel but we still need to communicate our feelings if not to someone then to ourselves. I recommend writing everything down when you feel over whelmed sometimes we don't want to talk to someone but writing down our thoughts help release some of those emotions. I hope you feel better and know that we are also here to listen.
Re: I am not ok
Things are are really bad at the moment as if it wasn't already happening quick enough my psychologist cancelled my last appointment and hasn't said when I have another one. I am super scared to see my psychiatrist in a week and I feel like crap. I literally just want to go kill myself but I am so scared of ending up in that freaking hospital again that I don't know if I should even bother trying. I feel really horrible and I am still having nightmares and flashbacks about what people did to me and I am just absolutely over it all. I feel completely trapped and I don't know how to make this all stop. No one is listening to me and even if someone does they just say they don't know what to do and can't help I feel like I am screaming constantly inside only no one can hear it. I am not ok I am not but everyone just looks at me like I am diliberately making myself feel bad for attention or something. Ugh I hate this shit is just want it all to stop. I can't take this anymore. Also I am safe tonight and again please don't tell me that I am strong or to call a helpline and any of that crap I can't hear that right now it just makes things worse.
Re: I am not ok
@Eden1717 I can hear things are quite bad for you at the moment and you are really struggling with your flash backs and nightmares, it sounds like you are feeling unheard and unsupported. That's okay if you don't want to contact a help line, what is usually helpful instead of contacting help lines?
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