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I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

I’m struggling so much. I first went to a prostitute around 2 years ago. I have tried to stop many times. It seems to be the case that when I’m drunk I end up going to brothels. It’s progressively got worse. I stopped for 3 months and ended up relapsing and visiting two places in one night. It’s financially and mentally crippling me. Since I relapsed I have been to a brothel at least once a week drunk. It’s dangerous, i also don’t agree with the moral aspect of it! I feel so lost and out of control. Has anyone ever been in the same position. I can’t talk to people around me about it as I don’t want to be judged 

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

Hey @Benn95

 

Thanks for joining ReachOut and sharing your story. Seeking supporting and reaching out can be really difficult for people, so it was very courageous of you. 

 

Due to the nature of this thread, I did question whether to leave this post up or take it down, as I did question whether it was age appropriate for our forums (we have a guideline about ensuring posts are age appropriate - please see a full list of our guidelines here). However, because you haven't gone into any inappropriate details, and rather have focused on the negative emotional effect this is having on you, I decided it was okay to keep up. I'd just like to acknowledge that topics such as this have the potential to lead to inappropriate conversation, and for that reason I'd like to remind everyone who comments on this thread to think before posting, and to try and ensure your responses are within our guidelines, and most importantly age appropriate Smiley Happy.

 

So...moving on back to your situation now @Benn95. It sounds like you're really struggling with this, which is fair enough. It's hard when you can't help but partake in something that you feel is immoral, wrong, or financially damaging. Unfortunately it is not something I can relate to, but I'm sure others can, and we will be here to support you nevertheless. I'm wondering, since this is getting to you so much, are you're seeking any professional support at the moment? I think seeing a professional could be really useful in terms of understanding some of the underlying issues that are contributing to your behaviour. 

 

 

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

Hi @Benn95! Welcome to the forums!

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been struggling. It sounds like you're going through a really tricky situation. Smiley Sad I'm not surprised you're feeling as if you're out of control. Seeing prostitutes might increase your levels of neurotransmitters, especially dopamine. This is like a reward for your brain and it can tell you that it wants more. So it can be very hard for your brain to unlearn that association and to get rid of certain habits. But it is definitely possible. Heart

I agree with @Maddy-RO that seeing a professional could be a good idea.
You can use this tool to find psychologists who are interested in treating impulsive behaviours and sex worker issues. I also found this service which can provide online or face-to-face counselling and other resources regarding your specific issue. There might also be support groups in your local area.

You could also make a plan about what to do if you are in a high-risk situation. It's great that you've already identified that being drunk seems to trigger you going to brothels. Smiley Happy
You could keep a list of other things that you could do instead and support services that you can contact if you find yourself in a similar situation, such as a friend, Kids Helpline or Lifeline.

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

I haven’t seemed a professionals help yet. I’ve looked on line and there doesn’t seem to be a great deal out there. I need to talk about it and understand why it happens. Sometimes I don’t even remember visiting the place but I see the transactions when I wake up 

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

HI @Benn95 

 

Thanks for being so brave and reaching out.  Sounds like it is really distressing for you Smiley Sad.  If you need to talk please call Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.  They have 24/7 trained counsellors to help you Smiley Happy.

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

Thanks! Do you think they would help in this case. I’m not sure it’s a regular issue you know 

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

@Benn95  I've had good experiences with Kids Helpline in the past. I think even if they don't exactly know how to help, they can empathise with you and show you some relevant resources or other services that can help you. They pointed me towards a professional organisation I didn't know about once. Smiley Happy

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

Ok great. I will give them a call tomorrow. Just getting this off my chest has helped a lot. I need to move on and start to focus on what’s really important in my life. I need to tackle this. I know the problems when I’m drunk. I need to not have funds available when I’m drunk so it is impossible for me to go. Maybe this is the way. Just take limited cash 

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

@Benn95  I'm glad that the forums have helped you! I think that not taking a lot of money with you if you're planning on drinking is a great idea. Smiley Happy

I'm sure that you can break this habit. Heart

Re: I can’t stop seeing prostitutes

I really hope so. I’m gonna continue to use the forum it’s a great relief to talk to people