Re: I cant take this anymore

Eden1717 · ‎12-02-2019

@Jay-RO i am kind of sick of people saying it is a long journey like i get it but also that is kind of a cop out. like it shouldnt take 20 freaking years or more that is too long. i am not giving those things another go i have been doing that for months and i am sick of it. i was stupid and just tried another helpline which is probably why i am a bit snappy but like i am just fed up again they made things worse again. and like screw this why do i have to put up with this crap anyway. i am probably just going to spend the night crying tbh. like there is nothing anyone can do to help anymore why do i even bother trying and wasting money i worked out i have spent over $50 000 on psychologists over the past few years. well my parents spent a lot of that but what has it got me absolutely freaking nothing. again sorry for the angry post but screw this. again i am safe.

Erin-RO · ‎12-02-2019

Hey @Eden1717 I'm so sorry you're feeling so frustrated and angry but this does sound like a very frustrating situation to have to work through and face, so maybe it's a bit justified and a very normal reaction considering what you've been through. Just know we're here to support you, cheer you on and listen when you need

Also thank you for confirming your safety. Now I know suggesting self-care may also be frustrating but is there anything you can do tonight? Even if it's something small?

Eden1717 · ‎12-02-2019

@Erin-RO oh i tried but no apparently i cant have anything today one of my few safe foods doesnt exist in the state! i tried their alternative (it is strawberry milk btw) and it was freaking disgusting i literally poured 90% of it down the sink it made me gag i am so annoyed it was repulsive honestly must have been created by the devil. anyway so now i cant even have one of the few foods my brain wont kill me for having and i am super mad. i have a huge headache from not eating as well and i am just done. FML. i honestly am not coping and like idk if i need to contact the gp for an earlier appointment but then i dont think i have enough money. ughhhhhh i am so done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erin-RO · ‎12-02-2019

Ohhhh whaaaat! Today sounds so frustrating @Eden1717 but I want to give you props for trying to do some self-care by trying the new strawberry milk. I'm sorry it sucks, that's so disappointing! Today also sounds super exhausting so no wonder you have a headache, does going to bed sound like a good next move?

Eden1717 · ‎13-02-2019

@Erin-RO i havent been sleeping well i have been trying but idk it is weird. i am feeling really unsettled today and i cant stop thinking about bad stuff from the past and things that happened to me. i also keep hearing things the whispering only the last one was someone different that i havent heard before. i am also still scared that certain people are demons or maybe everyone is i dont know i keep thinking ugh never mind it is too hard to explain i just feel really bad and on edge i dont know what to do anymore.

Rose_Harley · ‎24-03-2019

HI @Eden1717 ,

Hearing things would put anyone on edge - I even just wore a headset that played voices on and off for a day once at uni and I was really shaken! I can imagine that if it's a part of your daily life it'd be very understandable if you're having feelings of tiredness and fear.

Cudos to you for being so strong and persevering with your studies and new place! <3

Haven't heard from you in a little while, any updates? How have you been going?