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Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

@Libellule I have tried grounding techniques before and they don't work for me. They just make me more anxious. My psychiatrist doesn't care. I have been told by 2 helplines not to contact them again because I am " too high risk" and the other 2 just tell me to call someone else. Plus helplines just make me more upset. 

 

@gina-RO I have slept I have showered I have watched tv I have listened to music I have tired to read. None of it is helping I don't know about the ndis person because they won't even know what to do and will probably just say you should tell your psychs to which I will have to reply " I have told my psychologist and he doesn't really care plus he is leaving and still hasn't bothered to find me a replacement" " my psychiatrist doesn't listen to anything I say and I could scream at him that I was going to kill myself the second I stepped out of his office and he would say see you in a month" so like idk what people expect but nobody gives a shit if I am ok or not and nothing can help so really I don't know what I am still doing here this is never going to get any better and I have lost so many things already why should I sit around to wait to lose even more. I am safe for now but honestly I am not hanging around much longer maybe till Christmas or something idk but I can't take this much longer. 

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

@Eden1717 I'm sorry you're not finding grounding or helplines helpful. Helplines can't always help everyone, did they refer you to someone in particular? It must feel awful that your psychiatrist isn't helping much either. Do you think there is someway you could get through to your psychiatrist to make him understand how you're feeling? 

 

I would find it so frustrating if my psychologist was leaving and didn't help me find someone else! How annoying! He is required to help you find one, have you tried to call him or his clinic to politely remind him that you need to organise a replacement? 

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

Hey @Eden1717, just checking in, how have things been going for you lately? Here if you want to talk xx

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

Things are very intense and I am not sure I am ok. I have been trying to ignore everything but I feel really weird and all over the place and very very agitated and I am so scared that if anyone finds out what is going on they will send me to hospital and ugh I just can't stop freaking out and the stupid voices were telling me they were going to kill me and they keep talking about me and I feel really all over the place and I want to scream but I can't trust anyone I can't nothing is safe anymore and my eating is terrible and I am not coping with that at all and I have been doing some risky things I would never normally do and I feel like busy and I am spending a lot of money and I just feel really out of control but I am scared because it is getting hard to stop myself from doing things. I don't know I am not sure what to do now. 

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

Hey @Eden1717, it sounds like things are really scary at the moment. From what you have said, things have been building up for you and you feel like you are losing control. You also mentioned not behaving how you normally would and it sounds like you are quite concerned and want things to be different. Are you feeling safe at the moment? I really urge you to contact 000 or a service that is going to support you if you are feeling unsafe Heart If you are safe, what are some strategies that usually help when things are intense and messy?

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

@Taylor-RO I really don't know what to do I am hoping I can just go to bed later and watch movies... I haven't been sleeping well.... but it isn't helping much I don't know I am safe for now I think. I am just not sure how to keep in control I keep considering doing things I know I would regret but then I just feel like I can't keep stopping myself. But I don't know what to do my psychiatrist never listens to anything I have been trying to tell him for months that things are getting intense but he doesn't care. And I can't go to the hospital I can't I am still having nightmares about that place it makes me shake and cry and I can't make it stop. I just I honestly don't think there is anything I can do anymore. I have been trying movies and music and pets and  showers and art and puzzles but nothing is working. 

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

Hi @Eden1717 thanks for letting us know you were able to keep safe last night Heart. How are you going today? I'm sorry to hear that your psychiatrist has not been listening to what you are saying, particularly as things are getting more intense Smiley Sad You are doing such a great job using self-care and distraction techniques, that shows you have a lot of strength. What are some things you could do today to look after yourself? We're here for you. 

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Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

I am not ok the ED thoughts are very strong and I am really stressed and I feel really weird and I don't feel in control of myself. I am trying to be but everything is a mess and I am not coping at all but there is nothing I can do I either don't cope in the comfort of my home or I don't cope and get repeatedly abused by staff at the hospital. Either way there is no coping allowed. I just don't know what to do anymore I am exhausted and I really just can't take this I am safe for now I just feel like shit. 

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

@Eden1717 yeah that does sound like a pressure cooker kind of situation. So it's messy and you're feeling weird... What can you do in that state of mind, even just to take the intensity down a few percent ?

Re: I don't feel real and I am kind of scared (Possible tw)

@TOM-RO I really don't know I have been trying to watch movies but I keep wanting to cry I hate myself so much and I never want to eat again I just can't stand this I really can't and I have no one to help me with this I honestly can't stand this I just need it to stop everytime I eat I want to kill myself and I just can't take this. I am trying so hard I really am but everything is so hard and I really don't feel right I feel weird and off and I am not sure what is happening anymore. I am safe for now I just don't know what to do anymore.