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I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

The uni semester is starting for my girlfriend and I but I start two weeks later than her so recently she’s been so busy and I just kinda sit here missing her, without anyone to anything with because all our other friends are also all busy with uni. I’ve also been struggling to find a job while she’s been getting all these opportunities that take up even more of her time. Obviously I want to be getting these opportunities but I just miss having her around, especially when I have nothing to do at the moment. Lately I’ve been balling my eyes (like all day now) out every time I have even the mere thought of not being able to see her but when I’m with her or know I’m going to be soon I feel okay but she doesn’t always tell me about things she’s doing and then I feel like I’ve been anticipating something for so long only to be crushed. I want to talk to someone about it but neither of us have come out and no one knows we’re together. I love her to bits and in no way want to lose her but I don’t know how I’m feeling right now and don’t want to say or do something I regret

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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

Hi @Rattata , welcome to the RO forums, we are really happy to have you here Smiley Happy 

 

Thanks so much for sharing a bit about what's going on for you at the moment. It sounds like you're having a really hard time with missing your girlfriend,and feeling like you don't know what's going on in her life, is that right? Searching for work can also be really stressful and depressing at times - I know a lot of us here can relate to that! Especially if it seems like opportunities are coming easily to your girlfriend. 

 

Having the extra pressure of not having come out sounds rough as well, especially if it means you can't open up about how you're feeling to family and friends.  This is a safe space to talk about anything you need to Heart

 

There's a lot of amazing people on this community who've been through similar tough times who I'm sure can offer some more advice - and I'm also wondering if you would find chatting these things through with a uni counsellor helpful? All unis generally have a counselling service for students which is free, and totally confidential. 

 

Do you have any hobbies or things you love to do in your free time? 

 

 

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Check out our community activities calendar for April 2020 here
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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

Yeah I’m struggling with missing her because she’s doing a lot while I’m still waiting to start and there’s nothing to do really. It’s been giving me a lot of time to overthink how unproductive and unsuccessful I feel. 

I appreciate the support from this community and may look at talking to a counsellor.

 

I used to dance but not since high school but on occasion I like making films.

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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

Hey @Rattata ,

 

Speaking to a counsellor sounds like a good idea, even it it's just to bounce of some ideas and potentially find some solutions.  Overthinking is rarely a productive thing.  Something to focus on is doing something you enjoy, whether that's making films (cudos btw!), dancing, or trying something new.  Focusing on yourself and keeping productive will help you feel better.  Hope this helps Smiley Happy

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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

Hi @Rattata,

I completely understand that it can be hard not to feel a little isolated or even left behind when your partner is doing other things and you feel like you're waiting around in place for your time to start doing things. My partner works full time and I do not, and I've definitely felt myself slip into overthinking mode about my own success, so I know how easy it is to fall into that pattern. @Janine-RO and @TOM-RO are pretty bang on with seeing a counsellor and picking up something again that you're interested in, I do find when I'm making myself busy (especially with things I take enjoyment in), I lose a bit of stress.

It also sounds like you care about and support your girlfriend a lot, and that's really awesome to hear!

Also I'd love to know, only if you're comfortable with sharing, what kind of films you like to make?

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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

Well I haven’t had much time at the moment but I want to make more films on social issues surrounding lgbtq+ and gender equality
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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

Hey @Rattata! Don’t think I’ve ever spoken to you.. love the username! Is it from tiktok? Ratatata, ratatata, ahhhhhh Smiley Tongue
How are you?
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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

The name is actually a Pokémon.

I’m okay but isolation at the moment is slowly driving me insane particularly while I wait for my classes to resume but online.

How are you?

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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

@Rattata Oh whoops my bad! this is what I was referring to.. I’m sorry to hear that Smiley Sad are you currently in quarantine? If so I could help you come up with some tips to make life easier until all of this crazy stuff passes, if you’re interested?

 

Im fine thanks Smiley Happy 

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Re: I don’t know how I feel but I can’t stop crying

I’m not actually in quarantine but my university has suspended classes for a week while they transition to online classes. I have no work to do because we aren’t far enough into the semester but all my friends, who are at different unis, are continuing to have classes whether that’s online or face to face still so I’m basically just sitting around at home alone. But it’s fine. My girlfriend and I have been trying to do things together so that we don’t go insane but don’t put ourselves or others at risk. 

 

I feel like a lot of people would benefit from any suggestions you have on getting through this craziness. Good to hear that you’re also feeling fine.🙂