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I don't know what to do anymore

So I have anxiety and I'm pretty sure social anxiety, I get really anxious and stressed about going to school and the lead up is very overwhelming. I take a lot of time off school and get behind in work which adds more stress, my grandparents (I live with them) are really worried that I'm not going to become anyone in life which just makes me feel Even more worthless. It's so stressful I'm sick of crying I don't know what todo everything is just getting to hard to cope with. I am seeing a phsycologist but we havnt talked about coping yet, and I have a lot of other stuff going on with family etc. I have trouble sleeping and don't eat much cause I hate feeling full, so Im just sick of it all and don't know what to do.

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Hey @Z2002 and welcome to ReachOut.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time lately. Anxiety can be a really difficult thing to deal with. First of all, I want to say that you're not worthless. No one is ever worthless. You're still in school, there's plenty more ahead of you to find what you are interested in and want to do, school is only the first step. Have you spoken to your teachers at all about missed work? Perhaps you could work out a plan with them in order to catch up.
You mentioned you see a pyschologist, do you think in your next meeting you could talk to them about coping? It's a good idea to have strategies planned out to help you cope with certain feelings, so that when they come you are prepared to deal with them.
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Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Hiya @Z2002. I'm sorry to hear that you're doing it tough at the moment. It's really good that you are getting some help managing your anxiety from a psychologist though. When is your next appointment? If you're ready to get stuck into some coping strategies, it can't hurt to bring it up with them. In the meantime, we have some you can check out here. Do you have a morning routine when you're getting ready for school that helps you feel calmer? Maybe listening to some music, going for a walk around the block, meditating, making your bed so you can't climb back into it - something like that?

 

Do your grandparents know about the anxiety? I think a lot of older people come from a time when we didn't speak much about mental health and everyone was just expected to suck it up. Now we know better, of course, but they might not be aware that worrying about your future isn't helpful. You have plenty of time to decide who you want to be or what you want to do as a career. Nothing is set in stone, just getting through high school is a good goal!

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Okay! Sorry to hear you are going through this. When I was in school only a couple years ago now. My friends and I all had anxiety in different ways at different times. As you learn to cope, and I know that you've taken steps on that so its only a matter of time.

When I saw it in people who seemed to have looks and friends to support them I figured something must be off. With school especially it can feel like an overwhelming chance to become "something". Almost like its such a big chance that it could be your last. And with the weight of expectation coupled with with fears of yourself and your grandparents. It can feel like the weight of the world is on you. But know this their fear for your success is only because they love and care for you. And when you love someone, a lot of the time you need the person you love to be safe, happy and successful. And especially with the elderly who may not have as much time as the rest of us left. They must indeed love us more. To make certain that when they rest they can be sure your up to the taskSmiley Happy

I hope this hasn't freaked you out, because I think it says something very dear about your grandparents. They are here for you just as we are on reachoutSmiley Happy

If your getting ants in your pants about developing good coping behaviours step one is grounding yourself. And noting the situation I always feel. Like here's one. If you are reading this right now. Take a deep breath. You've already learnt a new coping behaviour!!!!!Smiley Happy)))) guess what!! You did it while using another one. Communicate! Talk about how you feel. Listen to others. Asking and accepting help is a skill. I am indeed trying to master it myself.

GoodluckSmiley Happy

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Hi @Z2002,

 

Thanks for posting on the forums- it's really brave! We are looking forward to helping you find some confidence and inner happiness.

 

Anxiety is super tricky to deal with and I think lots of the other people have posted some great tips on this thread so thanks @N1ghtW1ng@ElleBelle and @Stagnator

 

Do you think avoiding school will help your anxiety in the long run? Is there a reason why you don't like feeling full? Could you combat this by eating little bits and pieces throughout the whole day?

 

How do you think you'd go with some of these coping strategies? 

 

Here to help,

 

Lahna

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

@Lahna thank you for your reply and to answer your questions I do t think avoiding school will help me in the long run but I have moments where I just don't see the point of it, I don't like feeling full cause it makes me feel sick like I'm going to throw up.

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

@Stagnator thanks for the reply I appreciate your advice and tips🙂

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

@ElleBelle I don't have a morning routine but I might try some of your suggestions and my grandparents do know I have anxiety but they don't really understand the stress of it.

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

@N1ghtW1ng thank you so much for your reply and your kind words, I do get extensions for my work but sometimes it just gets overwhelming. I see my psychologist Thursday and I think that's what we will be focusing that session otherwise im still going to bring it up. 🙂

Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Hey @Z2002

 

Firstly I want to say that it's great that you're working with a psychologist on this stuff, even if you haven't discussed it just yet with them.

 

I just want to check, is there anything particular about school that makes you anxious or stressed? Is there anything that stands out as something that's too hard or that you want to avoid?

 

My anxiety used to wreak absolute havoc with my school attendance and workload.
I like ElleBelle's suggestion of a morning routine. Having some sort of stability that keeps you on track of everything being okay can be very helpful. I never quite found a very helpful routine, but I was able to identify the things that made it particularly hard in the morning. For example I realised that I felt particularly unsupported in going to school in the mornings (I knew people wanted me to go and expected me to, but each day the decision was a very solitary one), so I arranged for one of my friends to pick me up and go with me in the morning and had other people in my house be up and ready to leave while I was getting ready.
Is there anything you can think of that makes you feel like it's harder to go in the morning? (or the night before if that's when you decide to no longer go.)

 

Getting (or not getting) enough sleep and food are certainly going to impact upon how up to school you feel. It might be helpful to check out this link to get started on thinking about ways that we can work on getting better sleep.

With not wanting to feel full, I really want to echo what Lahna said about trying to eat little bits of things several times a day. Looking at the types of foods and how easily you can feel full from then can help. For example, you'll feel a lot better (and not a bloated/full feeling) from having a banana/apple/other fruit than from a packet of chips.