cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

I don't know what to do anymore....

I have been in a personal and professional emotionally abusive relationship for the last 4 years. And anyone may think I am stupid, but I am still in it and I don't know what to. Most people tell me to just leave him, but believe me, it's just not that easy. Financially I mean. And also that in order to still stay sane and safe through all this emotional abuse for the last 2 years I have relied on my rottweiller dog. Whom I would and couldn't ever leave, because we have grown really, really close through this all. And yes, I have informed Police, several times, and although they have tried to help, I can't bring myself to accept anything that they have offered because nothing that they have offered includes my dog. Oh and my rotty/my dog can't stand my partner either. And this week it seems as though my dogs dislike for my partner, has excalated a little more. As my dog won't let my partner near me and my dog now follows me everywhere I go and everytime he (my dog) sees my partner he lets out a little bit of a growl/snarl in my partner's direction. I have also spoken to doctors and my doctor advised me that if I were to have to part with my dog that I would really self-destruct. Not just emotionally but mentally and physically as well. I do though avoid my partner at all costs, etc. possible. I am always making up excuses to him so that I don't have to be around him. And with the way he (my partner) treats me, and abuses me, I guess it's for the better. Plus, staying away from him (my partner) also helps me retain at least, the smallest bit of confidence I have left, plus also my sanity. As I have been assessed for my sanity and the doctors say I am fine and that I am still completely sane. But living like this causes me extreme exhaustion. So much so that, if there was no such thing as coffee, I guess I wouldn't be able to wake up at all. Though I keep telling myself of how proud I still am of myself. And I tell myself everyday that I am not alone. My dad and mother are hoping that there could be some way for me to get out of this relationship. And have offered to help. Though we live so far away from one another that it makes thsi situation even worse and a truckload harder. So I don't know what to do. I feel like I have tried it all. And I believe that even whilst writing this post that this is just a piece of the horrible abuse I receive from my partner, because I find it hard to describe it all, because there has been so much of it. So again, I don't know what to do about all this. I guess what I am really saying is, I need help. 

Highlighted

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Hi Texan,

I can't imagine how difficult this situation is for you. But it sounds like you have a lot of support from different places including your parents and local authorities which is very fortunate. They can help you out in many ways and it is up to you to make the courageous and tough decision if and when to leave. I think doing something like this takes a lot of strength and courage. But also hope - that things do get better. Sorry I don't have the perfect answer. But I do hope it's given you something to think about.

Attached is a link to a fact sheet you might like to read.

http://au.reachout.com/What-is-domestic-violence

All the best,
FTP

Highlighted

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Hi Texan, you sound so brave. It was an inspiration to me to read that you "keep telling myself of how proud I still am of myself. And I tell myself everyday that I am not alone." Please keep doing that, you're a survivor.

You are right, you are not alone, and many people before you have been in the positive where their pets are too important to leave - and rightly so. In many states there are programs to assist with you keeping your pet while you leave the violent relationship. Please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) to see if something like that is available in your state.

Remember that you do not deserve to be treated this way and the right help is out there for you. Please keep telling yourself that you are proud of yourself coz we are too.

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Highlighted

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Hey Texan 

 

Firstly, Welcome to the forums. It's terrible what you are going through and you have been with your partner for so long and its not stupid at all that you are still there. It takes time 4 years is a long time and walking away takes a lot so its completely understandable. Im glad you have your dog to take care of you and offer you support, its great that you also have your parents there for you and they are willing to help you. That is amazing Smiley Happy 

 

You are so brave, talking about this must have taken a lot of courage and that is the first step. You need to do what is best for you and even though right now it might be hard for you to leave its great that you have positive self talk and you need to do things that empower you and do a lot of self care whether that's walking your dog, pampering yourself, shopping, anything that makes you happy so that you maintain positivity and then maybe you can decide what your next step is. 

 

Take care of yourself and we are here for you Smiley Happy 

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
Highlighted

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Hi Texan,

It makes complete sense that you can't leave your dog. If I was in your place I doubt I'd be able to either, it's great that you're aware of the situation and want help.

It sounds like you have people in your life who do really want to help you, and would provide any help you as for that they can.
Is there a way that you'd be able to get to your parents (with your dog)? Or any other friends/family?

You mentioned how hard it is financially. Is this because you don't feel you have the money to get out or because you can't lose your employment?
There are options for both problems, you're worth more than the money.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you're able to find something that does help you.