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I don't know what to do :/

Everyday I feel so, I don't even know.
I'm happy, I've got an amazing boyfriend, my family are so supportive and my friends are just great.
But I wake up each day, and I'm not so happy. I'm just constantly feeling down. Like I'm dragging myself through everyday.
And there are so many things that I'm always thinking about. I'm constantly thinking. It won't stop at the moment.
I just want to snap myself out of it, so I can start concentrating on more important things. I'm struggling to remain focused at work. But I push myself to do the best I can each and everyday.
I just don't know what to do.
I want to talk to someone, I want someone to pick at me until I break.
But there's no one around me who I feel is the right person for the job. Everyone has their own self to worry about, they need not worry about me.
I've never felt so isolated. But yet this is the best my life has ever been.
There's just so much going through my head. There's too much up there.
But I'm not an open person. I'm shy, scared to talk about anything personal with anyone. I've never been able to open up to anyone.
I want to try. I want someone to see and try.
I don't know what to do.
I just want to talk.

Re: I don't know what to do :/

Hey @20oney - you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. Lots of us know what it's like to feel crap, even though when we take an outsiders view of our life everything seems to be pretty normal. It can really help to get some of those thoughts out of your head, like you're doing here on Reach Out. Keeping a journal might help too. Are you able to talk to your boyfriend or your family about how you feel? They sound pretty supportive, so even if it's hard for you to get the words out it's a good place to start. There are also counselling phone lines and web chats you can turn to, like Kid's Helpline and Lifeline. They are specifically designed to give you a safe place to talk!

Re: I don't know what to do :/

My boyfriend pretty well knows, it just feels like he doesn't quite understand how much it's affecting me at the moment.
I'm not comfortable talking to people I'm close with

Re: I don't know what to do :/

Hi @20oney .. seems like you're going through a whole heap of realisations at the moment!

Regardless of how amazing everything around you may be... if your thoughts aren't 'positive' or towards a happy scale it can definitely make it hard to get through each day. So its completely normal that you feel isolated and feel as if your thoughts are so 'complex' or maybe messed up that no one will understand them. Or even the fear or being that intimate with someone ant telling them your deepest and most private thoughts can be scary!
Its good that you've come on reachout Smiley Happy yuo can share everything here and no one will judge, know who you are and most importantly we will understand .. and help you feel better about these thoughts you are going through! 

As @ElleBelle  suggested a journal would be a good idea. 

If I were in your position I would definitely talk to someone... even though they might not get me, I would know I'd feel a whole heap better If I could just let it all out. Maybe talk to a close friend? I understand you are a shy person and do not share things quickly.. but is there someone like a friend or relative that you truth 100%? Someone you aren't afraid to expose yourself to? I would suggest even your boyfriend becasue he does seem very supportive. 

We are all here for you! Smiley Happy

 

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Re: I don't know what to do :/

Hey @20oney  , I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough patch right now.  You're certainly not alone in some of these feelings you're experiencing - but trust that things do get better!  I'm really glad to hear that you have a great boyfriend and some excellent mates, remember you can always talk to them and turn to them for support.

 

Do you have any idea of why you might be feeling isolated at the moment? Even though situations might seem excellent on the outside, we can still experience psychological pain.

 

Do you have any escapist activities that you could use to relax and disconnect? For example, every morning I get up early, make a pot of tea and drink it outside before anyone else wakes up.  I find it a really good way to relax before the day gets hectic and noisy.  Can you think of something like this that could be helpful for you?  By the way, @ElleBelle 's suggestion of calling Kid's Helpline and Lifeline is an excellent idea, especially if you're feeling alone.

Re: I don't know what to do :/

hey @20oney 

 

Sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. I can understand what you mean about your life being the best it's ever been, yet still feeling isolated. I think i've gone through some times where i've felt similarly - everything seemed to be working out for me and my friends would find it hard to understand why I would be unhappy, but for whatever reason, I felt awful and alone most of the time.

 

I'm not sure how you feel about this, but sometimes I actually feel like it can be easier to share personal things with people who are external to my life. I've seen a few psychologists and with some of them, I was really comfortable sharing personal things about myself, sometimes even more than I would share with my closest friends and family. 

 

If you're interested in seeing someone face to face, you could see your GP and get referred to a psychologist or you could see someone at headspace. There's also eheadspace if you're not ready to see someone face to face and would like to talk to someone online. Definitely keep in mind that services like Kids Helpline and Lifeline are available for you if you ever do feel alone or overwhelmed.

 

Stay strong and feel free to let us know how you're going.

Re: I don't know what to do :/

@20oney 

Hey i just wanted to let you know- i know how you feel sometimes!!

Even when things are going great its sometimes hard to stop and let your brain catch up.

This might be just me but sometimes its a hormonal thing. 

What do you think would help you make the next step towards seeing someone?

You mentioned you wanted to, and wanted to be able to talk to someone. 

E

Re: I don't know what to do :/

Hey @20oney , I'm sorry that you haven't been feeling the best. Sometimes these sort of feelings come up regardless of how objectively good things are and it isn't something that you can just snap out of, so I'm glad that you've gotten to a point where you are willing to reach out for help. 

 

You've gotten some really great advice in this thread, so I just wanted to check in. How are things going for you right now?

Re: I don't know what to do :/

Hi @Chessca_H this are actually going ok. You say that you can't just snap out of these things. Thing is, I sort of can. I wouldn't say it's healthy or anything at all. But when I reach a certain point of down, I seem to snap myself out of it. It like my brains defends mechanism I think.. I get so close to opening up to people, then wham! And I'm feeling better..
This would be the first time that I'm not convinced that just because I'm feeling better, I am better.. I know all this will come up again. It's just a matter of when I guess!

Re: I don't know what to do :/

Wow autocorrect sucks!