cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

I don't want to be sad anymore

I know it's not realistic for me to be happy but maybe I don't want to be sad all the time. I'm sick of it hurting so much. I just want a bit of peace in my chaos. 

 

Is this too much to ask 

===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

Why couldn't I have had a normal family. Why did they have to hurt me.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

No, it's definitely not too much to ask. Happiness is pretty much a specific human need. You deserve happiness, just as much as everyone. It may seem like achieving it is impossible, but I can guarantee that it is not. 

 

I would love to help, but it's pretty broad. If you don't mind sharing (I totally understand if you do mind, I'll try to help either way), what is making you sad? 

 

This may be universal, so I will suggest it anyway, but it has helped me. (Recently, my mum has very emotional, and has had very extreme, irrational reactions to the slightest little things I do wrong. Two weeks ago, she reacted so angrily that I felt genuinely unsafe. The police came and I've been staying at my grandparents' since then, but my mum has still been sending me angry messages, and made it clear that she is still very scary.) 

 

Do you have a hobby, something that you love to do and are passionate about?  For me, that was photography. I picked up my grandpa's vintage camera, and I put all of my hope into it getting fixed. It never did, but a friend of my grandpa's who owned a camera shop gave me a film camera, because he knew how important it was to me. Ever since I got that camera, it's almost like there is nothing wrong in the world. And when I am upset, I can go take some photos, and I will feel better. It's almost like I'm letting out all of my emotions into the photos I take. Do you have something you're very passionate about? Do it. Frequently. Let it be a distraction, let it be a source of hope and positivity, to break away from all of the darkness and negativity. Even if it's something you've kind of lost passion for, try it anyway. I actually was like that with photography. I lost interest in it for a couple of months, but when I found that camera (and I coincidentally also just so happened to be watching Life Is Strange videos, so maybe you can get a little inspiration, and let that help you gain interest in something), I just fell right back in love with it. Watch television shows, movies, read books, find a character who is passionate about something you feel you may be interested in, and try it out. Even if you don't think it will work, try it anyway. Try a bunch of things. If you enjoy something, stick to it. Read about it, keep looking for materials where someone is passionate about that thing, so it can inspire you to stay passionate about it, too. I don't know if anyone else is the same, but I'm very easily influenced by people.

 

Another thing is to write. If poetry or storywriting is too stressful for you, then just keep a journal. Write down how you feel. But make it a physical one. When you physically write down your thoughts, worries, and feelings onto paper, it's almost like getting them out of your head, so they can't consume your mind anymore. It's similar to talking to someone — do you feel relieved once you tell someone something that you have been dying to let out, but have never told anyone before? — except you don't have that possibility of anxiety and fear when talking to someone, because your journal is private and a safe place for you. You don't have to write in it every day — you don't have to write in it at all. So don't feel stressed about having to write in it. It's a journal, not a diary. It's just a method of trying to create peace within your mind, and also feeling like you have company, without any anxiety or awkwardness. You can write in your journal like you're talking to a person — or you can write in it however you'd like. It's your journal, it's your rules. Try to include some sort of positivity in it. If you're thinking self-hatred thoughts, and you're writing them down, try to say at the end of the entry that you're going to try to make yourself a better person, or something — just to contradict the negative, and to prevent journal-writing from becoming something toxic. Also, I suggest keeping your journal close to you at all times, that way, it will be something more personal and meaningful to you, and you can also write in it on-the-go, so you don't have to write one super long entry when you come home. Try to also put it somewhere where no one will find it.

 

I hope this makes sense and at least helps a little bit. I'm sorry this is really long and I'm rambling. Also, sorry I'm talking about myself a lot, I'm just using myself as an example, I don't mean to sound arrogant or anything.

 

Do you see why my display name is Max Caulfield, now? I love photography too much 😂. And I also write in a journal (Max was actually who inspired me to keep a journal!) But it's amazing, if it'll make you happy.

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

And about the family thing: Our families have probably hurt us in different ways, but I can relate to you. My family is emotionally abusive and manipulative. My mum and I left my grandparents' house so we could get away from them, yet I'm back here, because it is "safe".

 

But it's not too late. When you're old enough, you can move out. You can be free of them. Remember that. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but you just have to stay strong in the meantime. It will get better, and I mean that, because I'm doing the same thing. I have one more year to go before I'm eighteen. I don't know how old you are, but I've been hanging on for four years. I'm almost there. I'm going to make it. And so will you. You can contact support lines to help you with accommodation when you're ready to move out. And when you do, make sure to think of it as a fresh start, almost a new life. Don't think about your past, because that was your old life. You're going to start a new life and it's going to be epic. 

 

They're not going to hurt you forever. You're not going to let them. Don't give up. Stay strong. You can do it, I believe it you. I know it may sound cheesy and stupid, and I don't even know you, but I really mean it. I know we're supposed to stay anonymous on this thing, but if you'd like, we can be friends and I can help you as much as I can, and we can help each other get past our families.

 

EDIT: Crap, I can't seem to find my previous post. I hope you can see it, or you read it. If not, I'll type it again.

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

@MaxCaulfield I don't live at home. I moved out when I was 19, I'm now 24.

My family still haunt me though. My mother tried contacting me today. And other stuff triggered flashbacks of certain things my brother did to me. I'm making a new post about my family coz it warrants it's own thread.
I think my family are the reason I'm sad and crazy. Even if they hadn't hurt me, bipolar, depression and schizophrenia run in my family, so I guess I was doomed.

I don't know how to move forward
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

Good idea about making a new thread about this @redhead, I hope it can be a place for you to sort through some of this family stuff with the support of some other members of the community. Thinking of you! Heart

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

I had a good day so why aren't I OK
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

Did you wanna talk about it @redheadHeart

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

@Bree-RO I just feel off and sad. It was nice to come home and hang with my best mate.
But
I'm not really ok, I pretend like I can cope but I can't (don't get me wrong I'm safe) I just hurt inside
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: I don't want to be sad anymore

Hmm I hear you, @redhead like the time with your friend was a bit of ease from what's going on inside but then that feeling is still there? You don't have to pretend like you can cope, you know it's totally okay to need support.

We used to live in massive villages and tribes, this kind of individualistic society is brand new and we have this feeling that we should "make do" on our own, but for hundreds-thousands of years we all supported each other through good and bad. I think you're super strong and self aware Smiley Happy