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I feel broken and no one's awake to talk

Small, possibly long rant incoming.. just a warning <3

So, I usually type a lot of my thoughts into a note on my phone, but I feel like typing it here for some reason. I've probably just had the worst two months of my entire life, and it's not even over yet.

 

To start these months, a boy I've been friends with and crushing on started to lie to me so he could have a relationship with a girl who insulted me and a good friend of mine. I told him how I felt about the girl and he told me he wanted to stay friends with me before he completely started to ignore me. He apologised yesterday but I've still felt hurt for the past two months and nothing changes that.

 

The next thing to happen in these two months, which is probably the worst event in my life, is I found out my mother had an affair. She had the affair years ago and my parents got divorced, but a couple years ago my mother moved in to my dads house so we could live as a family. Now she's left, so she can be friends with and work with the guy she had the affair with. Oh, not to mention the guy used to be a friend of my dads and is also my older sisters ex-boyfriend. My mother is completely lying about everything, she even has multiple phones so she can message him. I didn't know anything about the affair until a few weeks ago when she left.

 

My next problem, which is my oldest problem, is the issue that I'm trying to decide between free braces and expensive jaw surgery. I don't want to be a burden but just thinking about my jaw is enough to set me into a deep depression. I have an extremely severe overbite and I hate it but I don't tell anyone that. The surgery could possibly cost $40,000 and I don't know if I can ask for that when I have an opportunity for free braces. The only people I could ask for that money would be my Nana and Pop, but we don't talk enough for me to be comfortable. A couple days ago I saw an X-ray of my jaw, and I was shocked because I didn't realise how drastic it looked. Maybe I'll get a job and pay for it myself, so I won't feel like a burden? But then I won't be able to talk to my friends as often and they're the only reason I'm not constantly crying. I'm just so unsure about everything.

 

All the pain I'm feeling has gotten to the point where I feel like I would be better if I just moved to New Zealand and abandoned everything and everyone. As long as I'm able to find a job there, there wouldn't be much reason not to go. People tell me that's unlikely though because I'm 16 and too young for a job... lol.

 

On that note, anyone know people hiring Aussie teens in NZ? haha <3

Gah... music effects me way too much, a happy sounding song started playing and now I feel like joking about this.

Bye bye for now~

Re: I feel broken and no one's awake to talk

hey @BeauDream

welcome to Reach Out ! Sorry you’re having a bad last 2 months Smiley Sad *hugs* have you spoken to anyone about how you’re feeling e.g counsellor?

 

im sorry about the boy and that’s really wrong of him and he definitely should of apologised sooner.

 

it must be really difficult at the moment with your family, i can kind of relate to what’s going on for you. do you think you could maybe talk to her about it and tell her how you feel ? it might be able to settle down some emotions that are everywhere within the family. 

 

i had a bad overbite too! would you and your dentist/orthodontist consider giving you a plate before braces ? the plate may make your overbite smaller and then braces will also slightly change your overbite and straighten your teeth. but also there’s no harm in asking if your parents would consider surgery?

 

have you done any self-care over the last 2 months, do you have anything today you could do? maybe talking to The Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 would be good❤️