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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

Hey @Hannah-RO @thank you for your kind words! I haven’t been up to anything in particular lately as my mums been at home for a little while. Hard to do things that I want - like baking and drawing and such. Recently I have wanted to try some make up and things...just cause it feels so good not to exactly wear it but just being a little creative and trying out new things feels awesome. I have had this urge to develop a new style lately. Something...unique and different..I sort of want to build a new me - one that’s...confident in her own skin...hence the make up (even tho I am horrendous at it 😅) My mum doesn’t exactly want me to wear make up...it usually leads to discussions where she often asks how I have time to do this but not things that are important. It’s been a bit hard...at home with her unfortunately. Every time we have talked, she has like asked me about what my friends have gotten, and saying things like “they will probably get a higher ATAR than you” but I just don’t care about that stuff anymore. It’s exhausting. When she does say these things..I immediately feel like some sort of constricting feel in my chest...I started to understand that their words...are having a bigger impact on me than I imagined. I don’t know...to be honest I am a little worried. I feel like my health is going down the drain...and it’s just so frustrating. Experiencing pain and not being able to do anything about it other than take medication is just..difficult. I lost my will to eat for the past couple of days as well...because this mindset of “why eat when it’s not doing anything” has sort of settled in. I have just been...moping about it. I don’t want to keep...starting over again. This whole “new me” thing...I am doing it only because..it makes me feel happy to try something new and be able to experiement with my clothes and such. But...otherwise, I know that there is no...sort of hope driven purpose behind it. On the bright side..I am meeting with my psych next week tho...which I am excited about. And yeah, being friends with her is a major thing I am looking forward to! I do know everyone but one girl in that group. They have all been super nice and considerate to me...plus they are just so genuine and only build each other up from what I have seen in class. I just hope it..works out and that if it does, it doesn’t just abruptly stop once school ends. These are people I want to learn and grow from...and i think they can make me happy when I need it the most 😊 

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

Hi @StarGirl101, I think it is really great that you are trying to be creative and develop a new confident style for yourself. It can definitely help to boost your spirits! As apart of this new style, maybe you could also name 3 positive things about yourself each day? It doesn't have to be about your appearance but it could also include personal qualities too. What do you think?

It sounds like things are still a bit stressful at home with your Mum which really sucks. You mention noticing some physical symptoms and eating less than usual. It sounds like the impact these things are having is starting to concern you, so it may be worth letting someone know. Is there someone you would feel comfortable chatting to these things about?

It is also amazing to hear that your new friends have already been nice and considerate. It sounds like they are going to be a really positive group to be apart of. It is so important to find people who build you up and it can make a world of difference Heart I am so happy for you!
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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

Hey @StarGirl101,
I feel sorry that your mum made such comments and that makes you feel so bad. I hope your friends can give you some support while you parents are making you feel depressed and sad. I can understand It's hard to feel confident and positive in that family situation and particularly your parents are not realising the negative impact they give on you. The thing I would recommend is getting independent soon and then you can make decisions by yourself and might be feel less restricted by your parents. (Hug)
Let's see whether psychologist will help you with that and he/she might give you some advices depending on your family situation. Again, feel free to speak out on the forum once you feel bad, we are here listening to you and giving you some support and speaking out can be a healing step as well.
Looking forward for your experience with psychologist next week! (Hug)