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I feel like a waste of space

@Craycray17 this is what I wanted to say on the other thread. 

 

I feel so lonely and like a huge waste of space. Like I am just a nothing and I'm trying so hard to feel better but tonight just isn't my night and I feel so defeated. There is nothing good about me because all I seem to do is annoy people. 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I feel like a waste of space

I'm sorry you're so down tonight,@j95, I really am! You are not at all a waste of space in my eyes, if someone who talks to you online occasionally like me thinks you are great then imagine how great the people in your life must think you are! It ca be tough to convince yourself that when you're in a bad state of mind, I know that from my own experience too, however you could do with remembering some of the achievements you have made even just the ones shared on here. You are a great Rolemodel and support for your brother, what do you think he thinks about you? Also you wrote that amazing letter addressing areas for improvement a few weeks ago, that was incredible and who knows how many people without a voice you spoke for. Also, you have been very supportive and appreciated here when people have needed support.
I've only been a member for a month or so now, and they are huge achievements that I have witnessed. You are worth it, you are not good, you're bloody great.
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle

Re: I feel like a waste of space

@j95
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle

Re: I feel like a waste of space

Thanks Smiley Happy @Craycray17 I have lived with these feelings for a really long time and tonight I just feel like more than ever it's true.
I'm a bit over it to be honest
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I feel like a waste of space

I guess I better just get over it
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I feel like a waste of space

@j95 I know you might not be thinking this way, but @Craycray17 is right, you're such a positive presence on the forums and from what you've told us about your life you really work to be a positive and upstanding person in your daily life. These thoughts might come up from time to time but the rest of us at RO are super glad that you are here Smiley Happy

Maybe some self-care could come in handy? Even if you feel like you might not be worth it, maybe try some strategies out since everyone deserves to look after themselves sometimes

Re: I feel like a waste of space

It makes sense for there to be good night's and bad ones too, like last night, @j95. And it's totally normal to sometimes feel like we aren't good enough, or to be disappointed in who we are. What's important is to always remember how valuable we are despite these periods of being down, and honestly @safari93 and I can't be the only ones who have loved your presence in these forums. You're a legend, don't forget that! I hope today is a better day for you Smiley Happy
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
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Re: I feel like a waste of space

Hey @j95

Hope you are feeling better.

 

I know its hard to pull yourself up when you feel defeated. In the last month there's been a couple of times that feel like Ive just been suffocated with defeat. But you have to keep trying and keep fighting. Ive learn to try and find the "correct way" of thinking about things. For me I try to focus on the future and see what I can learn from the past.

 

Also there are many thoughts in my head that make me feel bad about myself. Ive been practising lately to ask myself if these thoughts are really "correct"? 

Anyways Im a big advocate of trying your best. I know you are trying your best as long as you are doing your best it doesnt matter the result (its a work in progress anyway) then Im proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

Take care.

Re: I feel like a waste of space

Hey @j95 you know you don't annoy us! You contribute a HUGE ammount to this place, you are irreplacable here. 

 

What are you doing to deal with these feelings dude? I know you have heaps of skills for staying safe and getting through. Which ones are you going to pick today? 

 

 

Re: I feel like a waste of space

hi @j95

 

I read something interesting last night, you may like it too- "when you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink but when you try to sink, you float. When you hold your breath, you lose it"

 

Its eluding to the idea that sometimes we can try to do something, but it can have an opposite effect to what we desired. For instance when we are feeling down we often try to AVOID negative emotions. 

 

Think of you emotional environment as quicksand. When you struggle and try to avoid your emotional experience you sink. However, when you allow yourself to come into contact with your emotional experience, although you will not be rid of these feeling completely, it is better then drowning in them through struggle and avoidance.

 

These are very difficult concepts to grasp but this 'acceptance' or 'willingness to experience what you experience, is a major component of mindfulness.

 

Heres a link to What is Mindfulness.

 

 

In the past I have definately had times where I felt somewhat empty. But through integrating mindfulness and its related philosophy I rarely have this kind of experience. It sortof trains you to look for the answer inside yourself as compared to outside of yourself. 

 

Also mindfulness meditation is associated with reduction in self-referntial processing. Thus this could be a helpful long-term strategy for you, if you find you are evaluating or judging yourself. When you engage in mindfulness you essentially train your brain to be in a mode that connects stronger to your experiencer, which naturally reduces evluation and judgement.

 

I personally think self-evluation and self-judgment can be highly debilitating. and in a modern world, where everything is measured, from our school grades, to our work targets, its easy to apply this kind of measurement and evaluation to yourself.

 

Thanks for posting! keep up the good work 'uber contributor' Smiley Happy