I feel like no one likes me....

[Love_elmo77]

I do some volunteer work and some of the other volunteers I meet for for the first time always ask where am I from after introducing themselves & one time a guy was introducing himself to me and was asking me where I was from and I told him where I was from and then he said he was Indian/African and was like “you were born here, your a citizen,oh man you have it easy”. Is that something to feel weird/ bad about? 

There was was also another time I cut myself while I was cutting some vegetables in the kitchen and I needed to get a band aid,so I went to ask someone for a band aid and the person got me a band aid plus a spare one & I touched a band aid plus a spare one for myself but the other person got annoyed I touched a band aid in the box & then I just walked back into the kitchen feeling bad about what happened....

It feels like I won’t get along with the other people at volunteer work & that I should just stop volunteering there but I know I can’t quit volunteering and I don’t know what to do

[GioDes]

Hi @Love_elmo77,

Thanks so much for reaching out  I really hear what you're saying, being in social environments like workplaces or volunteer organisations can be really confronting/tricky as sometimes people aren't always aware of how their words or actions affect others, and it can be hard not to take that personally and worry. Please know it says more about what's going on for them than it does about you! 

I was wondering, are there other people in the organisation who are nicer to you or people you would feel comfortable chatting to about it?

[Bingo1234]

Hey @Love_elmo77 it can definitely be hard meeting new people because it can difficult to understand who they really are. I don’t think you should feel bad about the comment that another volunteer made about you being born in Australia. It sounds like he could just be making general conversation but it can definitely be hard to tell if you don’t know the person well. When interacting with people you’re not familiar with it can definitely be difficult to get a gauge on who they are as a person. I know that I’m definitely someone who can overthink social interactions for a long while afterwards but I’ve found that it only gets me down so I try to avoid it. Is this something that you do as well?

[Love_elmo77]

@GioDes everyone seems very nice at where I’m volunteering,i dont think i feel comfortable talking to someone about it as I’m quite new at where I’m volunteering

[Love_elmo77]

@Bingo1234 yeah i overthink about social interactions after they happen as well,i try not to think about it but it just keeps popping back inside my head and its really frustrating

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Love_elmo77, I can totally see where you are coming from. It can be so easy to start overthinking social situations which can make you feel upset and anxious. Personally, I try to remember that people's actions and thoughts are usually about themselves rather than other people. They could be having a bad day, stressed about something or not even thinking anything about you. This isn't to excuse poor behaviour (because it isn't ok to be horrible to other people), but it can help you to look at the situation from a different perspective. You also mentioned that you are new to volunteering - hopefully once you spend more time there you will become more comfortable and get to know everyone better.

What do you think?

[Love_elmo77]

@Taylor-RO hopefully i do get to feel more comfortable & get to know everyone better as i continue volunteering.

[Sophia-RO]

That sounds like it would be helpful @Love_elmo77, I hope that you get a chance to meet everyone too and that it helps you feel more comfortable!