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I feel lonely and frustrated

There are a lot of things going on in my life. I have been able to get into a positive sleeping pattern at last. It's taken a lot of effort but I am finally going to bed at 10pm and getting up at 6:30am each day. I applied for a new job and I got it but I have yet to start because I have been unwell again. I should be better in a couple days. Still anxious about the actual job but hopefully my first day will be good. 


My house mate is still frustrating me though. The house mess is so continuous it is driving me mental. We have a house inspection very very soon so the house will have to be cleaned. I'm worried she will go back to the messy habits afterwards though. But because of all this mess I haven't been meal planning and cooking. I've been either eating take out or not eating at all. I hate it. But I always have to clean the kitchen and wipe down the benches if I want to even think about cooking anything. And so I have no motivation to do grocery shopping. I have next to no food at all and no idea what I want to make. 


I'm also lonely. I've been playing online games and talking to peoples over web forums in my games but it's not the same as having a friend to hang out with and talk to in real life. I see my boyfriend most days but he also works a lot of nights and I work days so it's hard to hang out sometimes. And one of my good friends always keeps bailing on me. We make plans but then she pulls out last minute and our work schedules are so incompatible so the little time we have to hang out isn't very much at all. 


I don't really know what I expect from this post. nothing really. But I feel frustrated and angry at a lot of things. *sigh* 

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

Hi @mspaceK 


Thank you for checking in Heart It sounds like there have been some really good things happening like getting into a healthy sleep pattern and getting a new job- a real testament to all the hard work you have put in these last few months Heart When you start the new role, we would love to hear more about it. 


I can also hear there are still some big challenges between health, your housemate situation and feeling isolated from others. These challenges have been continuing for a while now, so really understandable that you are feeling frustrated Heart You've mentioned your boyfriend has been around most days, but that finding the time is sometimes challenging. Is he someone that you speak to when things get frustrating? 

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

Hi @Jess1-RO . I can talk to him and he knows pretty much all of this too because I talk to him about it all the time. 


You know, I'm so afraid at confronting my sister about these cleanliness issues Smiley Sad so instead of asking her "hey, can you clean up the kitchen after cooking?" I'm so afraid. I can't even do that because I'm scared about causing her stress and getting into an argument. But it's ridiculous. Simple little things like wiping down the bench that clearly has ingredients spilled everywhere or a plate that hasn't been rinsed - she's just neglecting to do these simple things. And spilling food on the floor and not cleaning it up. And packing the dishwasher but then not even bothering to unpack it for several days. It's really not fair. Smiley Sad 

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

@mspaceK I'm sorry that things are still really hard.... Smiley Sad

Is there any way you could divide the bench space between you, so that you'll at least have somewhere clean to cook?

Another thing that might possibly help is those weird "life hack" things. They could either make the mess easier for you to quickly deal with, or ideally encourage your housemate to actually get it done herself... 

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

@Tiny_leaf @Jess1-RO I sent her a message today about how I felt about the kitchen and what I would like her to do to keep it clean and she has been home all evening and literally has done nothing. The kitchen is trashed with dishes everywhere like she hasn't touched it. I don't understand. Even when I bring it up and ask nicely nothing seems to get done and then she plays the "i'm sick or I have a headache or work was too stressful today - and i'm just going to sit on the couch and watch TV."


Smiley Sad 



Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

@mspaceK damn....

It sounds like you're doing all the work at your house...

What do you think would happen if you stopped doing your bit until she starts doing hers?

All I can really think of is getting her to share the space properly or some how dividing it between you... 

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

@Tiny_leaf It feels like an impossible situation right now. The only solution to the mess being dealt with when I need it done is for me to do it. Otherwise I just go to my boyfriends house for a few days because I get so fed up and start feeling really angry and snappy towards her and I can't even stand being in the house or in the same room as her. I haven't cooked a proper meal in a whole week because of this. I'm probably wasting so much money right now and eating really unhealthy. Smiley Sad 


I have my psych appointment tomorrow which I haven't had in a few weeks. I'll probably chat about that and some other stuff, not that it'll make a difference :/ at least it doesn't feel like it. 


I'm also stressed because I need to be working a little bit more because I have expensive bills coming up Smiley Sad 

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

@mspaceK would you like any suggestions? Like, either about some really easy ways of making it easier for her to clean if she's being lazy (okay, the ideas were "stolen" from Buzzfeed, but some might be useful) or some ideas about cooking despite the mess.


And ugh.... I'm so sorry you have to deal with that..

Is it possible to organize staying staying at your boyfriend's house more often at all?

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

Sure @Tiny_leaf . I'm open to suggestions because I'm seriously struggling to deal with this. 

Re: I feel lonely and frustrated

@mspaceK also, would you like to do anything as a distraction at all?