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I feel lost

I moved to a new city early this year for a new job and after 2 months, my ex-partner of 5 years left me to get married to someone else overseas. I have managed to keep up with my new work, part-time study and made few new friends here during the last 3 months, but now started to feel more and more overwhelmed and depressed. I know time is the only solution to what I am going through, but sometimes I hope things just end for good. Not having my family in the country, no job next year and having been moving residence every few years for the last 10 years makes me feel lost without a home.

Re: I feel lost

Hi @Tamika - welcome to Reach Out.

Moving to a new city and breaking up with your partner are two very stressful, isolating things and it's pretty crappy that they happened around the same time for you. When you say you sometimes hope things will end for good, are you talking about your life? You do seem like a strong person - and you must be if you have coped with moving so many times, but if you're having suicidal thoughts and feel depressed it's important to get some extra support. There are counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) available 24 hours a day and if you're under 25 you can also swing by your local Headspace Centre.

Would you feel comfortable opening up to your new friends about how you're feeling? A good skype session with your family might also make you feel a bit less lonely. Time is the great healer but you also need something to keep you going through the now. We have a cool thread on turning negatives into positives that might help you reframe things when times are tough.

Re: I feel lost

Hello @Tamika and welcome to ReachOut. 

 

It's never easy having to move to a new place. It is a great thing that you have made some friends in your new home, sometimes that can be one of the hardest things about moving to a new location. The links that @ElleBelle added are really helpful and worth checking out. 

 

You'll be okay.

 

N1ghtW1ng

Re: I feel lost

Hi @Tamika ,

Welcome to ReachOut! I am sorry to hear you've been going through such tough times lately. I was in a similar situation a few years ago - I moved cities for my partner, then he ended the relationship a few months later. So I had to move home again, by myself. It was one of the saddest times of my life. But what worked for me, was what you mention you've been doing - working, studying and spending time with friends. I really think you're doing well to be keeping up with all those things!

I think the others gave good advice, I just wanted to say hi, and I understand what you're going through!

How are you feeling today?

 

Cheers,

blithe

Re: I feel lost

Hi @Tamika 

 

I hope you are feeling better today. I wont pretend to know the solutions but I too recently broke up a relationship of 5 years. It is hard to at first but I am sure you will find new hopes and dreams. Actually being single for me allowed me to start thinking about what I really want in life instead of what "we" wanted. It can be actually more exciting to focus your life on yourself.

 

I cant give you any good advise about  how to settling down at one place as I am like you at the moment all over the place. I somehow decided that change is normal and inevitable.  I also decided that some things just isnt in my control so I stop worrying about things that will happen. 

 

The year hasnt finished yet and there is still plenty of time. I hope you find work for next year. 

 

A little hope all you need. I hope it comes your way soon.

 

Re: I feel lost

Thank you for your advice and kind words. I will look up the forum site you suggested.

Re: I feel lost

Hi Blithe

 

Thank you for leaving a comment here. Knowing other people have gone through this and come out gives me some relief that someday I will get there too.

Re: I feel lost

Hey @Tamika how are you?

Im sorry to hear what you have been through, I cant imagine how you feel right now

I can see though that you are a very strong person, keeping up with your work and study and even making new friends still - thats great !

While it might be all go at the moment make sure you take time out for you and make sure you are okay or on the right track to being good again

Is there a reason you have moved so many times? Maybe it might be time to set up a home somewhere?

While you might not have a job lined up for next year yet, the dedication you are showing in your current job is bound to create some good references or even contacts for future jobs. Or your study you are doing, could that help with getting a job next year?

 

Would you be comfortable talking to your new friends about this? Or even skyping/emailing/calling old ones who dont live close? Have you considered seeing a counsellor or talking to someone about everything thats going on?

As ElleBelle said, its important you have extra support when times are tough and if you are feeling really crappy dont hesitate to call LifeLine 13 11 14 or find your nearest headspace centre, sometimes you dont realise how much you need to talk until your chatting to someone !

 

Hope you are good and do let us know how you are going

Hang in there Smiley Happy