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I feel stuped

Hi everyone.

So heres whats going on.
I feel stuped. Everyone around me seems seems to be alert and opinionated. I feel like nothing really is going on in my head. Actually Im lying. Im always thinking negativeley like I jut cant accept who I am. I feel like meditation works but doesnt get over the approval seeking everytime Im around people. Why cant everything be quiet? I feel like I dont have a personality or anything trully interests me, or that Im not in touch worh myself and people around me. I find it sonhatd to connect. Sometimes I feel like people should treat me like I am lesser then them so as to find my place. I dont know Im a mess I dont know what I need. A girlfriend maybe, but how the hell Im I gping to get one if Im all the time doubting mulyself and I cant keep a honest fonversation about interests and something of spark in muly environment or anuthing... Im jut numb... Im a really goo person tho and even that I see bad sometimes bacause the world is such a fold place!!! Anyways... Anyone can relate?

Re: I feel stuped

 

Hi @Daniel ward Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing your experience/thoughts with us! I think a lot of us can relate to not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy. In fact I was listening to a talk by a psychologist who said she had a theory that most of the population have a deep belief that 'we are unworhty' (apart from psychopaths!). So she said it's not about getting rid of that belief, but rather it's about having that view alongside 'I feel unworthy, but i also know i have value'....so it's like having the two views together. I hope that makes sense!

 

I'd be curious to hear other peoples experience and views on this? @j95 @lokifish @redhead or anyone else I've missed?

 

Re: I feel stuped

Evening @Daniel ward
You didn't ask for advice nor did you ask for stories.
But I'm going to give you both. 😉
You mentioned a girlfriend, as if a relationship will fulfill this emptiness. I was actually in a similar situation a few years ago, but with a boy.
I was really longing to date another dude because I just felt shitty about myself. I thought his precense would give me purpose. I was your average fan girl drooling over this dude. I ended up dating him and it was the worst descision in my life. He made me insecure when he called other girls hot, or made me feel awkward when he was bragging about a footy game or whatever. And back then, I didn't even know what a touchdown was, if that's even in footy. He just made me feel shitty.
He dumped me because he said I wasn't sexually active like other girls in our grade. Pathetic.
But overall, the moral is you can't depend on someone else for your happiness. A girl, unless she's artistic, humble and hippie, won't make you happy. A girl might be an escape from your current sufferings, but the escape is only temporary.
My advice is depend on yourself.
And, what I find useful is deleting social media. You may think 'deleting social media will make me disconnect even more,' but it doesn't. Infact it has a totally opposite affect. Deleting social media gives you a better insight on the world, and you'll learn to love things you didn't even know you loved.
If you don't have social media, take up a sport or activity such as drawing (even if your shitty at it, it's a good laugh) or singing (another good laugh) or dancing (which'll break typical dancing stereotypes.
Finally, just be yourself. I know this is a really common saying, so common it probably has no meaning behind it, but it does to me. If your being your self 24/7, despite people's opinions about you, you'll learn to connect to the sort of people who are also 100% real. Being yourself forms confidence, which'll make you feel worthy of life and help you get out there and find something interesting.
Enjoy life buddy, you only get one shot at it.
Kind Regards,
Jaws

Re: I feel stuped

Hello @Daniel ward, Welcome to Reach Out!

 

I'd have to say that I have felt this way at particular points in my life too, and I understand that it is definitely not a good feeling to have. I feel like my brain is running 24/7, and its sometimes exhausting. 

 

But, like you said yourself, you are a good person. Smiley Happy And it is wonderful that you can see that. 

 

Perhaps, you could try an find people with similar interests to you. I know you said that you don't have anything that truely interests you, but I am sure there is something. Perhaps, a sport, an instrument or another kind of hobby. I really like to read, do you enjoy reading?

Re: I feel stuped

Hey, I actually do have things I enjoy... Like reading and playing guitar and Im working atm. But something is wrong with me, I feel like Im quite superficial. Smiley Sad

Re: I feel stuped

Thanks @jaws I really like the advice of not having to depend on anybody. I guess I have to try and delete or minimise the thoughts in my head tht are not conformed with who I am right now. Youve helped me be conscious about this thanks!
Deleting social media is def something am going to think about, but life would feel so awkward without it haha wpuld be so weird! I actually enjoy seeing whats going on.
I guess is about sucking my thumb coz I do have a lot of things going on for me at the moment! I just have to shut my mind and focus on something I enjoy like you said like for ezample playing te guitar, hard work at the beginning but def worth it.
I really dont know about being myself tho. Ive tried that and I just dont know how to do it. Any sugestions?
Maybe I should stop trying so hard to listen to people all the tome and to be in top of things, maybe relax a little when Im not working and stop being there for others as much as I am....
Ye like I see people out there more lively than I and that makes me angry haha
Thanks guys for the advice

Re: I feel stuped

Guitar, thats cool! I have always wanted to learn guitar, but my parents got me into violin instead. haha!

 

From what you have said you are far from being superficial. You are feeling things, even if the feeling is numbness. It is still a valid emotion. As @jaws suggest, deleting social media might be a good idea. And believe me, it is super weird to delete it! I have done it before and I felt a little lost at first, but I found myself being more present and in the moment. Maybe you can try and replace the time spent of a social media app with one of the apps suggest from the Reach Out tool box.

 

Check them out here: http://au.reachout.com/sites/thetoolbox

 

As for suggestion about trying to find yourself, hmmm. I haven’t thought about this before but I know a few of my friends like to keep a journal. They write down there emotions at the end of the day, and they have told me that it helps them get in touch and understand  their inner self and emotions. 

 

Let us know, if you try any of these suggestions. and I would love to hear from other people on the forums Smiley Happy 

 

Re: I feel stuped

Hey @Daniel ward, welcome to RO!

 

It seems like there's been some really great advice given here already, and it also seems like you're already thinking about your thoughts and feelings on yourself. You mentioned that you feel like you should relax a bit and make some more time for your own needs - are you saying that you tend to let other people's thoughts about you affect you and the way you think about yourself?

 

Also even though you mentioned that you feel like you don't have much of a personality, from here it seems like there are already some traits others might notice about you - for example, you seem like a determined person from the way you talk about working on your guitar skills! There are probably other personality traits you have which you could gather from your hobbies and interests.

 

 

Re: I feel stuped

Yea Ive kept jornals before... Its a good idea. I never follow up tho Im not consistent!!
@safari93 I guess that whats wrong is that I put myself down a lot! Im in a mental helth institution like share aconodation and Im not proud of it altho being woth other people has helped me a lot. Because what happened beforenia that I was very isolated so being around people 24/7 has helped me know myself better. Also I think is time for me to make friends outside my bormal emvironment. Like I work now with a team and that is going great but I think I need an activity where I can meet friends and a girlfriend. The problem woth the girlfriend is that ai would have to share that I live in a share accomodation in a mental health facility which I am not proud of to be honest. But oh well is part of my lige now. Someone said that I need to find people with similar interests and I cant agree more. I think everyone can relate to that. Anyway coming bak to the activity Im planning to join the scouts hahaha hould be entretaining an would learactival stuff. Can I ask what age are you whomever is responding?
And what your interests are? Just to create more discussion not just about me Smiley Tongue

Re: I feel stuped

Hello again @danielward

It's great to hear that you are taking on board some advice! There has been some great advice mentioned here. And the scouts sounds wonderful. I knew a few people who have joined the scouts and they said it has been a lot of fun.

Well, I am in my twenties and love to read and dance. You should head over to some other threads and get involved. There is some fun games too! Smiley Happy