I hate the real world- (Trigger Warning)
The real world.
My entire life I am someone
that has enjoyed virtual
reality and fantasy more
than I could ever enjoy the real world.
I am constantly reminded
that I need to take part in the real
world and I know this.
But the truth is...the reason I
love video games is because they're
not the real world...
In the real world...I'm just a loser
20 year old with no direction, I'm overweight
unmotivated and constantly put down.
...I don't have anything to contribute..
I don't enjoy the real world..
it's only ..ever hurt me made me feel
things I didn't want to feel.
I've felt more alone in my house surrounded
by people than I have ever felt online,
in the real world if I'm not coping no one
reaches out to me, or is kind.
They don't care,
but when I'm online even if it's fake
...people care... a whole lot more than anyones
ever cared in my real life.
They want to know how I'm doing,
they're paying attention if I'm upset.
They ask what's wrong.
In the real world If I died no one would be upset..
I don't have any value as say Sam Acres ...
because I am not worth anything.
In the real world I'm just, a baby sitter,
a free house cleaner,a money bank, a freak.
In the online world when I'm
gaming or playing with friends..
More happy than I've ever been in real life.
Real life has never made me happy.
I'm constantly reminded that... I'm not needed.
I don't see...where I fit...or If there's any point
being around in the real world...it's not like
I've ever ...ever felt like I should be alive.
I've wished more times that I should commit suicide
in the real world than I had ever in the online space,
my life is empty and sad and pathetic in the real world.
I'm forced to live with an ex-abuser that no one
seems to care about kicking out or mentioning.
I live in a household with people that are
constantly making it dirty yet I'm the only
one that contributes to cleaning up.
When things aren't clean they find it easy
to blame it on me when there are 5 other people
in the house that has accumulated a crap pile
over the years and they expect one person
to be able to clean for all of them.
I give my rent, I don't complain, I cook dinner.
I've felt more miserable in this house than when I was
...I hate the real world.
Because ....I was never allowed to exist in it happily.
The real world is my burden...
In the real world...i'm useless and hated.
There's no real place for me here..
Sincerely- A sad gamer.
Re: I hate the real world- (Trigger Warning)
Welcome to RO @StartPlayer01 and thank you for sharing you story with us. I'm really sorry to hear what you've been going through, it sounds very heavy and absolutely heartbreaking. Please know that you're not alone in this and our community is here to listen and support you
I would like to check in on your safety - Do you feel like you can stay safe today?
Also just an FYI I've added the words "trigger warning" to your post just to alert other members that the content may be triggering for some - if you need any information on this or RO in general you can check out our community guidelines here
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