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I have no life

I'm a 16 year old girl,

When I ask my friends why I wasn't invited to things they always hold the same excuse. "There was too many people or they honestly forgot" I pretty sure it's got something to do with my gay friend he hates me, but I haven't done anything.

So I figured in grade 8 I would just hang out with guys, but that didn't go too well people just thought I liked them. However when I said no they thought I was lesbien.

Not many boys talk to me any more except for a few people who used to like me, my current boyfriend and my best friend.

But my problem is with the girls I hang out with at school they don't invite me. I just want what every girl wants to have friends that are girls that I can do girly things with like sleep overs. It really upsets me that I have no friends of the same gender. What can I do???

I have no problems getting guys to like me but when it comes to females they just hate me and I haven't done anything. Pleazzzzzzzzz help!!!!!!
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Re: I have no life

hey @Hicks

It's really sad to hear that you can't hang out and do the things you want to do with the friends you have at school.

I went through a similar thing when I was younger, I really struggled with friendships. I always thought making friends in high school was hard because it was sort of limited and if your interests didn't fit in with any of the 100 other people in your year group, it was hard to connect. Thats where I found after school hobbies such as sport really helpful.
What types of things do you like doing? Maybe you can create a list and start looking at whats in your area.

Here's some websites that might benefit you

 

Reach (Sydney + Melbourne)

Community Groups Melbourne (I'm not sure on your location but I'm sure where you are from will have a similar database)

Making Friends video


It's awesome when you find people you really connect with and I hope you can do that!

 

Jay

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: I have no life

Hi there @Hicks!

 

It sounds like you've had some tricky moments trying to make and keep friends at school, and it's understandable that you would want your current group of girl friends to be more accepting of you in their circle. It can feel awful knowing that you don't have the same type of close relationship with a group that everyone else seems to have.

 

You mentioned that you didn't seem to have much trouble getting boys to talk to you, and that you currently have close friends and relationships with boys. Have you thought about why it's not so difficult for you to talk to guys? There might be something there that could help you figure out how to get closer to your current group of girl friends.

 

It might also be useful to talk to your girl friends and this gay friend you have mentioned to find out why it is they avoid you, and why your gay friend doesn't seem to like you. You could check out these tips for communicating for some ideas, and also this resource on how to deal with conflicts with friends.

 

Hope this helps, and let us know how things go Smiley Happy

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Re: I have no life

I'm pretty sure my gay friend just hates me because I'm straight and everyone else is bi. Because the gay friend travels to pretty much every group there is no way for me to escape his hate
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Re: I have no life

Hey @Hicks, friendships can be complicated and tough to manage, and sometimes, we can drift away from certain friends for a number of different reasons. If you feel like your relationship with your friends at school is currently under a bit of strain or that you're on the outer, you might find that having a bit of space and meeting some new people could help ease some of the tension.

 

@j95 had some great advice on where you could meet new people who are into similar stuff as you. Have you tried any of these suggestions before?

 

 

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Re: I have no life

I have already tried speaking to them but they ignor me. And I'm pretty sure that they hate me just simply because they want someone to hate on to make their lives more interesting or whatever

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Re: I have no life

That doesn't sound like a good situation to be in @Hicks. Smiley Sad If you're not being treated kindly or with respect from a group of friends, finding some new ones who make you feel good about yourself sounds like a better option. 

 

 

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Re: I have no life

It's not that easy, I can't move to a different group because my gay friend is always there and he's ruined my life.

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Re: I have no life

@Hicks How are you today? @j95 made some really great suggestions, so check those out

 

It sounds like you feel stuck and frustrated that you don't have girl friends? School can be a really tough time socially, so it's great that you've got some awesome support around you, like a best friend and a boy friend. 

 

Sometimes talking things out can be really beneficial, what good outcomes might there be if you talked to the friends you're having trouble with?

Also, sometimes when we want something to happen, such as being invited over by the girls, making the first move can be really helpful.  How might you be able to initiate this? (for example, you could invite them over first?)

 

Good luck and keep us in the loop!

 

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Re: I have no life

I have already tried to invite them out but they always say they're busy even though it's in the holidays. I have even tried aranging a date that suites everyone, they say yes but they never show up.