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I just need to put this out there.

I posted here before at a time when I was really confused. [Again I have not used people's names, but the code names here are the same people as my last post, just to avoid confusion for you.] That (my) confusion has cleared up a bit, but... (I can't think of how to end that sentence).

I feel so out of touch.

I'm an introvert and have recently found out that being forced into group work at school has had a hand in screwing with my body's messed up chemical balance.This meant that for a week in the middle of winter I have had fevers that made my body react like it's the middle of summer (mental function decreaed, no energy, not hungry).


Mum knows this but she also thinks there's something on my mind thats bothering me. And she's right. I just won't admit it to her.

I have this friend (friend A). It's someone I've known for about five years. Most of that time I hated him, there are no words to descrive it. When I first met him I just decided that I didn't like him, and it never felt like a conscience decison.

After getting really close on a train trip (falling asleep on each other) I started to trust him. We would talk on facebook and I told him things I've never told someone else (I have no one I would call a real friend at school and I don't trust people easily). A month and a half later we started holding hands. Two months later we kissed.

Now all of this is fine until you realise that one of my other bestfriends is his younger brother (friend B) (my age) who was crushing on me a few years back. And I'm friends with his (friend A) girlfriend (friend C).

Now I feel like I did something wrong. In the past three weeks the way we talk on facebook has changed. I can't help but feel his (friend A) girlfriend (friend C) has something to do with it. I know that helping him cheat on his girlfriend is wrong, but I also know that it didn't feeel wrong at the time. And I can't quite bring myself to feel bad about it.


I know how to end that sentence now. That confusion has cleared up a bit, but...It has been replaced a different type of confusion, among other things.

Re: I just need to put this out there.

Hi Iszy,


Thanks for posting and I'm glad that you have come back again.


I'm sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well - the colder weather can cause havoc on our bodies!!


The situation with your friend does sound like a bit of a confusing situation and it appears that you are feeling a bit guilty too about kissing him as well? I assume you are also a bit confused as to "where you stand" - does he want something more (even though he currently has a girlfriend?). I think the best approach to this situation is to talk to him. Tell him that you are feeling a bit confused about what happened and you are unsure what it all meant. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment kiss? Even though it didn't feel like that to you? Ultimately, it is up to him to make the decision as to whether he is going to stay with his current girlfriend or break up and be with you... You can't really make that decision for him. But maybe if he doesn't want anything more, you could suggest that you would like to be friends instead?


I hope that makes sense... I hope the confusion lifts soon!!!



Re: I just need to put this out there.

Thank you MM.

Thank you for the advice. It's not something I would have thought of, because of how closed off I am with other people.
Now I jut have to find a way to bring this in a conversation...

I also feel a need to answer your questions (call it the goodie-two-shoes in me)
"you are feeling a bit guilty too about kissing him as well?" There are several emotions I have felt because of kissing him. The only way gulit ties in is because I feel guilty of not feeling guilty.
"Maybe it was just a spur of the moment kiss?" It wasn't. through one of those Facebook things where there are some phrases and each has a number he said that he wanted to kiss me. Although he had been asking what I would do if we did kiss. And he had been worring about me being sick (he had several exams and work experience in those weeks). It was something we had talked about and we planned to meet up one day.
"be friends instead?" I'll always think of us as friends. Even if we don't speak to each other after school finishes.

Going through this has helped me think and see this situation a lot clearer. Thank you.


Re: I just need to put this out there.

Hey Iszy, I know what you mean about feeling guilty about not feeling guilty! It's a weird feeling, isn't it?


Is there any reason you can't chat to your mum about the situation? She was young once too, maybe she will have a different perspective for you to consider!

Re: I just need to put this out there.

Hi ElleBelle,
It's a feeling I seem to have about a lot of things. Such is the joy of no caring about somethings in life.

I know that my mum is there for me to talk too, I just don't want to worry her. I know that money is tight (but when is it not these days) and a four year old boy is something that no one should have to deal with alone for 7 hours everyday. Not when they have a life in the real world. 'She also has a friend with relationship issues. She's the support beam of her friends and some times enough is enough. One person can be one too many.
I prefer to do things anonmsly. It means that it's not pegged to me and I can easily pretend that it doesn't exist when I don't want it to. It weird catching someone looking at you and knowing that they know your promblems. That's not a look I could live with when it comes from my mother.

Re: I just need to put this out there.

I found a way to ask him where I stand and he's chosen to stay with his girlfriend, which is good.
It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, knowing for certian.
We're friends and we still talk, but, yeah.
My mum said today that I was seeming really happy and content so I guess that pretending that you're doing great acutally does seem to trick you into thinking that you really are.

Now I only just have to stop the tears in the morning. (I can't cry but that doesn't stop tears).

Re: I just need to put this out there.

Thanks for coming back and updating us Iszy.
Sounds like you've got some resolution, even if it's not what you were after. I think it's really brave that you put it to him to get an answer.

Let the tears come, I find it helps to get through hurt. And if you need to, spend a bit of time away from him. Only be friends when you feel YOU'RE ready for it and it doesn't hurt so much.

Take care,

Re: I just need to put this out there.

I have found that I can't cry. Unexplained tears is the best I can do. And it only hurts in the morning before I get up.