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I just want to talk :(

I've been through a bit over the years. I've never had anyone to stand with me and talk, or just someone to be there. I Donno
All those years of thinking to myself that I don't need anyone or anything. I don't need to talk to people when I'm in a rough space, or when people are giving me a hard time.
I hit college, and it was like nobody cared. None of the teachers did anything when I went from a straight a student, to a failure.
Next thing you know, I've dropped out. And I don't think anyone really noticed.
I wish I had someone to talk to, through that school phase especially.
I just want someone to ask me, what is on my mind, and just keep asking until I finally give in to them and blurt it all out.

It will never happen. I will forever hold everything in.

I can't talk on here, it just, doesn't work.

What makes it worse, I am probably the best person I have ever been. My life is good. I'm surrounded by so many people who I love and who love me.
But yet I feel so alone. Like none of the know what's going through my head. I can't talk to them.
Why do I feel like this when so much in life is good.
I don't understand.

Re: I just want to talk :(

Hey @20oney sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. It looks like you are having trouble reaching out to the people you are closest with.

 

Sometimes it's hard for people to notice that you are down, sometimes people don't have a clue what's going on, If you want them to know how you're feeling you have to tell them, most people won't know until you do. I'm sure the people who love you will be all ears if you spoke to them about the way you're feeling. If you can't tell them what's going on, would you consider seeing your GP about the way you're feeling? They might redirect you to a psychologist who will be able listen to you and help you through this tough time.

 

It know it's not as easy as it sounds, getting help and reaching out requires a lot of courage, and you have taken the first step coming here and sharing your story, you should be proud of that. 

 

Good luck and let us know how you go.

_________________________________
sometimes it rains, sometimes it shines, this is how flowers grow

Re: I just want to talk :(

Hey @20oney and welcome to RO.

 

Sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know that it can be confusing and frustrating to feel alone or unhappy, even though things might all seem to be going to plan in life.

 

We are very complex beings - sometimes we can have it all and still feel like things just aren't right and in these situations it can sometimes make it difficult for friends and family to notice that something's wrong as it might look like everything's going well from an external perspective. 

 

Have you thought about talking to someone at headspace? You can see someone face to face there and they can even arrange for you to see a psychologist on the same site if you'd like to do so. 

 

 

 

Re: I just want to talk :(

Hi @20oney ,

 

Sometimes we can feel like we have amazing, wonderful lives filled with supportive people and still feel alone. It's perfectly normal, and your feelings are perfectly legitimate. If you don't feel supported, reaching out can be a great way of building a support network. Like @benjamin_ mentioned, sometimes when all others see is how you live your life, they don't really know what's going on inside your head. Perhaps you could try the resources that have been mentioned already, or talk about it here even. Either way, finding support could help you through this.

 

Re: I just want to talk :(

Hey @20oney 

sorry to hear you're feeling so alone.

It must have felt really frustating when teachers and other people in your life didn't give more guidance during school.   

It might help to gain something from the past and remember that it hasn't destroyed your chances of achieving what you want in life. You won't have to hold in everything forever if you don't want to Smiley Happy

 

 

 

Re: I just want to talk :(

@20oney I agree with @jvkn and @benjamin its a good idea to reach out. it sounds like its been tough for you for a long time. Maybe if you could reach out to others it might ease your loneliness. Have you spoken to the people who love you about how you feel?

Everything isn't lost. There is hope on the horizon. It's good to see your taking the opportunity to express yourself on Reach Out, it shows you're willing to make a change.

Stay strong Smiley Happy. And keep us updated.

Re: I just want to talk :(

Hi @20oney , how was your weekend? I hope you got to find some supportive people to talk to.

 

You know, I myself have often been 'guilty' of keeping my thoughts/feelings to myself too much - and it affects my closest relationship. He just didn't know what was going on for me! And it hurt me not breaking through my shyness and talking as openly to him as i wanted to so much. And when I did, he could see how much I cared for him still, and sharing my problems with someone close to me does take courage, but makes you feel totally human! As others have said - being human is sometimes feeling like total flat, even though there are mostly really good things going on in other areas.

 

I personally felt what you are describing. It really does affect your self-esteem when you can't express yourself.

Recently I got back into songwriting and poetry, and playing my music. I figured it was healthy outlet to get me the courage to express my feelings out loud.

 

Feel free to chat anytime... I'll be here too to listen Smiley Happy

 

 

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Re: I just want to talk :(

hi @20oney 

 

everyone above has  great ideas, and seems like most people really think that reaching out is a good idea.

 

I want to encourage you to go to class when you are able to. You never know when you might meet someone who will really be able to understand you.

 

It could be a great idea to see a counsellor or psychologist. If you are registered with medicare, by going to the GP it is possible to get sessions bulk billed under a government health care plan.