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I'm not sure

Hi

 

Now I'm not sure if I am over thinking it. Is it just simply sadness?

 

Here is what I have been experiencing:

- Social Isolation (At the moment I simply just want to be on my own, compared to being with people. I don't know why but I feel happier being sad alone)

- Having a low appetite (I have discovered to that I am now content with eating only one meal per day. I used to eat a lot more)

- I feel numb inside

- I am pessimistic 

-Thinking about is it worth it to get up today?

 

But I'm not: (currently)

-struggling to do simple things like put on clothes or cleaning my teeth

-not seriously thinking about killing myself. (However I did think about the  "idea" of killing myself for the first time last night)

 

I have done some self tests which say I need help, but comparing to other people I'm not so sure.

 

I feel like if I was to get an assessment I would find out that I was wasting his/her time.

 

Any help would be appreciated enormously.

Re: I'm not sure

Hi Matt

 

So what I am hearing is that you feel down, have some negative self-talk, a decreased appetite and not motivated to face the day. Matt, you did the right thing coming on board to the forums to seek some advice.

I am not a doctor and I can't say for sure if it is just sadness or something more than that. It is great that you nailed down the things you don't feel like doing and the things you can still do, so may I recommend lets focus on these small tasks? 

 

1) Do you like listening to music? How about plugging yourself in, focus on the song and try not to think of the numbness inside. Music can work as a great distraction. 

 

2) I know you mentioned you feel like being by yourself at the moment, but is there a person you trust you could call up and speak about anything in particular? It does not have to be a discussion on how you are feeling, but just to swap ideas on what to do during the school holidays? 

 

3) Have you heard of Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800)? The counsellors there are great at helping you feel better. I call them up time and time again, they sure help me cope through the blues

 

Matt, we are hear to listen. Thanks for trusting us today and I don't feel like you have wasted my time Smiley Happy. But I am worried about you. Do you have a GP you can see in order for s/he can assess your mood? I understand the internet is convenient to assess tool for screening but they aren't perfectly reliable, it is best to let a professional assess this. 

 

In the meantime, Matt keep doing the little things you can do. Make sure there is some food, water and sleep in your days and please check back with us so we know how you are going.

 

You are strong!

 

Doris 

Re: I'm not sure

Hey Matt,

You would certainly not be wasting anyones time by getting a proper assessment.
If your sadness is a big factor in your life then it's worth looking in to. If it's worrying you then it's worth looking in to.

It's the same as getting a check-up or being tested for anything else, getting negative results doesn't mean it should never have been done.

Re: I'm not sure

Your health and wellbeing is never a waste of time Matt! If you're not feeling like yourself, pop into a GP and see how they can help you out.

Re: I'm not sure

Thank you guys, I watched last night "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and after that I cried (quietly) in the cinema bathroom, I started to shake really badly and couldn't control it. But I managed after a while to stop and walked out into the foyer and waited for someone to pick me up. But once may dad came and asked how it went, I lost it again. So my parents eventually found out what I wrote here and they offered to help. But my problem is that I regret telling them as I know of someone else who went through what I did and his parents basically had to have someone with him 24/7. I cannot stand to think how much pressure and stress I believe I have put on my parents and I really regret it. Last night they heard someone calling out (which turned out to be a notification sound that an app on my iPad makes) and they rushed to my bedroom. 

 

What can I do? 

Re: I'm not sure

Hi Matt

 

Firstly, don't feel like you're a burden on your parents; they certainly don't think that way. They're clearly care about you very much.

 

What's going to be most important for you and your parents is to talk to them about how they can help you. Let them know how you feel and what you feel are appropriate boundaries.

 

Remember that they care about you. They don't see you as an inconvenience; they love you and care about you and want to help. All you have to do is tell them how.

 

Stay safe and keep us updated.