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Re: I'm scared

@j95  By the way, let this diagnosis help you understand and keep it in mind considering why you may feel a certain way sometimes.

Re: I'm scared

Thanks @tsnyder I don't even know how to tell her. I went to the beach and got drunk last night just hoping everything would end, like it would just disappear but it hasn't disappeared. I can't findanything relevant to me on the Internet
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I'm scared

@j95 man from my own experience, I think there are three keys components:

 

1. Acceptance.  Do not mistake this for 'giving in' but understand it is part of who you are and what makes you unique.  Having BPD will make you a more understand and fulfilled person in the future also

 

2. Management.  You will have to manage this for as long as you have it.  From my understanding (although i could be wrong) it is not something like anorexia where there is a 'recovery' process - i do not mean to be disheartening just acknowledge that it will require managment.

 

3. (Most importantly) Invest and enjoy the parts of you that are not BPD.  The way i view it, there are the aspects of you that are BPD, and there are aspects of you that aren't (eg. your relationship with Yas, your indepence, strength, determination etc.). Enjoy and immerse yourself in these components while managing the BPD components. 

 

BPD is a part of who you are but is not defining of you.  Embrace it, understand that it will make you a stronger person (a positive), allow it to help you understand any irrational thoughts or feelings you have (a positive), and continue on with your life.  Its a component of you but not the whole thing, and in my eyes it makes you all the more genuine.  Keep at it man

I'm studying for exams at the moment but will be on and off RO throughout the day - if you need any help/just want to talk or vent, don't hesistate to write in

Re: I'm scared

@j95  by the way man you seem very focused on Yas.  Just wanted to say, good on you, you must be an excellent boyfriend.  Its nice to hear how much you genuinely care about her,  I know many guys who are nowhere near as invested as you are in their girlfriends, its awesome to hear how much you care about her. Refreshing also

Re: I'm scared

I found some more information about it, some of it doesn't sound like me but then there's is parts that are a lot like me. I think I might print off the factsheet from this site and show her

I haven't really cared about someone as much as I care about her in my entire life, honestly, and nobody has cared about me and loved me the way she does, I haven't had someone show that they care about me in my whole life, so to have somebody to does, means a lot, I guess that's why I'm so invested in our relationship because I want to keep it.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I'm scared

@lanejane sorry i havent replied to your comment just not sure what to say. 

 

I had a look at some websites, I obviously have to tell her at some point, and i was going to today but just didnt get around to it and then we had an argument so maybe tomorrow.  I read your confession post, thanks for letting me know, somehow i didnt see that and well done for beimg able to post Smiley Happy

 

thanks again

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I'm scared

its comforting to know i am not the only one @redhead @lanejane 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I'm scared

thanks @blithe for all your help too, hopefully i can only help me manage whats going on and get better.

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I'm scared

Hey @j95 

 

It really sucks to hear how bad you're feeling about this, but I really want to reassure you that your diagnosis doesn't change or determine who you are, it just gives you a framework to better understand how your mind works and will help you work through it! 

 

I've read a lot of your posts here and have always considered you to be a super intelligent, self-aware person. You know yourself, and at the end of the day, your partner is with you because of who you are. When you're ready to do so, I think it would really help for you to talk this through with your partner. It's really nothing that you need to hide or be ashamed of. 

 

Hope you're feeling a little better, let us know how you go.