cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Re: I'm so sick of everything

@Esperanza67 it comes and goes in waves. On and off for a long time. I've spoken to my psychiatrist about it. I'm not really sure what can be done. I try to relax before bed. I struggle to go back to sleep if I wake up too early because I'm sensitive to light. And perhaps bad dreams also put me in an alert mode. I space out and start thinking about things, then I don't even remember what I was thinking about.

Re: I'm so sick of everything

Hey @Beautifullybroken

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, not getting enough sleep and having bad dreams can really impact on your mood. How did you sleep last night? 

 

Is there something that makes you feel really calm? If you wake up in the middle of the night you could use this to help you relax again. 

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: I'm so sick of everything

@MisoBear I did not sleep well last night either. I suppose I could use some relaxation techniques.

Re: I'm so sick of everything

Hey @Beautifullybroken, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not sure if you've taken a look on RO but here's one article that you might find helpful https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-get-a-good-nights-sleep

Would you mind if I shared some tips that help me?

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: I'm so sick of everything

@MisoBear thank you. I'll read through the link. Sure, you can share some tips.

Re: I'm so sick of everything

@Beautifullybroken  No probs! How did you sleep last night? Any better?

Here are a couple of things that helped me:

1. I repeatedly associated something that made me feel safe and calm with bedtime. For me, this is playing a podcast or familiar audiobook on a sleep timer. Not something too energetic or with lots of music, not something too dark. I fall asleep in about 10 mins now. The more familiar and soothing the better, kind of like having your favourite movie or tv show on in the background

2. If you're not into the above you could use white noise, rain drops, the sleep mindfulness meditation on Smiling Mind (free mindfulness app), I just find I prefer audiobooks because they don't allow my mind to wander or start thinking through the day.

3. If you're alert, just get up and do something calming like reading a book or something until you feel sleepy again. Lying in bed and worrying associates the anxious feelings with bedtime, which is just going to make you feel more stressed out.

 

I'm wondering if you feel like any of those tips would work for you? I know you have said you've been having problems on and off for a little while. I'm wondering if there's been anything that you've done in the past that has helped with sleep?

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: I'm so sick of everything

@MisoBear thank you. I've been away for a while, I couldn't bring myself to come online for a while, I had exams and was overwhelmed emotionally. I have a tendency of isolating myself when I can't cope. I realise it's not really the most helpful thing I can do. I'm doing okay-ish now. I'm sleeping okay. Been a bit sniffy and been feeling really been exhausted.

Re: I'm so sick of everything

I guess I'm just used to being alone. It's what I've known. I'm used to keeping my emotions bottled up. I'm used to suppressing emotions, and becoming overwhelmed when I could no longer contain them. I had very few friends growing up. Was bullied when I was in school. I've always been an outcast. I find it hard to allow myself to be vulnerable by reaching out. I hate feeling weak and fragile. It gives other people a reason to invalidate me, emotionally exploit my vulnerabilities. I attract the wrong sort of people. Being a nice person is hard because people take kindness for granted. On top of that I'm prone to feeling guilty, someone can easily make me feel guilty after they emotionally exploit me. I'm not a punching bag. I hate it when people try to control me, I'm not a puppet. I hate it when people play mind games, I'm not a doll. I just want to be treated like a person. Though it seems easier to isolate myself from people because I feel safe in this secure little bubble.

Re: I'm so sick of everything

Hey there @Beautifullybroken 

Its so sad to hear you have been taken advantage of, kindness is never something that should be exploited.

 

Have other people had similar experiences to this? I feel like this is common among a lot of empathetic people. We can become victim to emotional abuse more easily because we are so attuned to others feelings and don't want to upset people or let them down. It might be worth looking into finding strategies to assert your emotional boundaries and develop a way of doing that that you feel comfortable with. This could help you build up your confidence in connecting to new friends without feeling mistrustful or unsafe. 

 

 

 

Re: I'm so sick of everything

Hi @Beautifullybroken! It's so awful being taken advantage of. It really hurts to invest so much time and effort into a friendship or relationship only to be pushed aside. We can be there for other people, but there's no guarantee that other people will be there for us.

I was also bullied in school and I tend to also attract a lot of people who aren't genuine or interested in maintaining a connection with me. I am still discovering whether people are going to be loyal and trustworthy and going to be there for me and people who are only focused on their own self-interest. There have been a lot of times where I have met someone and noticed some red flags or signs that they aren't going to follow through on their promises, but I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and believe in them anyway. I've learned that my gut instinct is usually correct and that I shouldn't ignore it.

It can be really hard though because I've found that these people tend to never admit that they are wrong or accept any kind of responsibility for their actions. They might make you feel as though there is something wrong with you and gaslight you. They often use you as their emotional punching bag and constantly vent to you about their problems but in your hour of need, they ghost you and aren't there for you. I've learned not to blame myself for trusting them. Kindness is a great quality to have. They are the ones with the problem and are the ones to blame, not you.

I have also learned that sometimes, I need to put my foot down and say no, especially if the other party is clearly not willing to compromise on their demands and they are getting more benefits out of our relationship than I am. I found it useful to plan in my head how far I am willing to go for a person. That makes it easier for me to say what my boundaries are if they are clearly taking advantage of me and overstepping the line. I once volunteered for a 'non-profit organisation' with the understanding that they were looking for volunteers to cover their new office and local government areas near my house and that they had flexible days and times. But as soon as I organised at considerable personal expense and actually started volunteering, they gave me the cold shoulder and only communicated with me to demand (not ask) that I go to locations around an hour's drive away from where I lived during peak hour traffic, including several in the same day an hour away from each other. I was actually willing to go to locations in a sizable radius from my house, but they were asking me to go to places that I had never been to before. Knowing the furthest I would be willing to go to in advance made it easier for me to stand up for my rights, let them know how I felt and eventually terminate my contract when they refused to listen to my suggestions for compromise. Of course, they made up various excuses and outright lies when I attempted to negotiate with them, but they didn't deny that I had originally been told that closer locations were available and that I was not informed of any changes prior to starting the position. At the end of the day, all that matters is knowing that you're a good person who doesn't stoop to dishonesty and other kinds of unscrupulous behaviour. You are better than those people.