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I messed up

Okay so recently one of my friends has heavily offended me and at first I was pretty pissed off. However, after hearing her side of the story, I realise I may have deserved it. Early last year, we got into a friends with benefits type situaition. We only did stuff on one occasion, but ti was nothing huge. However, I told one person who told another and so on and the rumors became bigger and bigger and she's lashed out at me.

 

Some of the things that I've heard from her have been grasping at straws or MASSIVE exagerrations however, I still feel horrible about the rumors. I don't really want to lose her as a friend, as toxic as she can be. She has been there for me a lot and early last year, I was at a really bad stage in my life and I was acting like a big a**hole

Should I try and talk to her and apologise? These rumors haven't tainted her reputation but I feel pretty bad about them.
I don't know really know what to say anyway
Can someone help?

Re: I messed up

Hey @drhalloween 

That sounds like a tricky situation. But from what you have said it sounds like you can see where she might have been coming from. So maybe if you caught up you could talk about the exageration of the rumours!

It would be a really hard conversation to have but if you guys are friends then it might really help you both move passed the tricky situation!

 

I would start by contacting them gentley by saying something like " Hey..... , I think it would be a good idea if we caught up to talk about whats happened" And then see what happens 

i hope that helps a lil bit

Re: I messed up

I think when you feel like your friends might think bad of you, it hurts more than ten people who you dont really care of their opinons talking about you

 

Maybe let her know that you dont believe the rumours spread about her and you dont think that its as extreme as the exaggerated versions - its fair enough that things can be amplified in your own head when you feel all eyes are on you but if she is just over exaggerating maybe tell her - hey, its not actually that bad its just x y z to reassure her

 

If you feel you still want her as a friend maybe talk to her and try and resolve the issue, whether you say sorry if you are, or if you both discuss it and reach some sort of agreement?

 

 

Re: I messed up

Hey 

 

I agree with what other people have stated in this thread. It might be a good idea for you to contact this friend, see them in person and talk through this issue.

 

I'm sure this is not what you have intended to happen, and their reaction seems fairlly justified do to the circumstances.

 

Let your friend know that you have got their back, rumors can be nasty.

 

Goodluck!