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I miss my Dad

at the moment I've been thinking about my dad and I really miss him which I know is really stupid. I shouldn't be missing him. But It's something I can't shake. Maybe I miss what could of been, even though is no way he would change. And maybe he would actually end up being proud of me, which is another ridiculous thought. Or maybe he would angry at me for actually going out and doing something with my life. But a part of me really misses him. I guess it's not a big deal but is something that has been happening for a few months.

Nobody has to reply I'm just putting my thoughts into words even though they don't make a lot of sense. 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I miss my Dad

Hi @j95! It's good to hear from you again, and no I think that makes perfect sense but it must feel so confusing that you miss him yet at the same time you don't think you should be missing him. I'm not sure if you've spoken about your relationship with you dad before on the forums as I'm still fairly new but if you would like to talk some more about how you're feeling about it, we'd be happy to help out.

It sounds like you're yearning for a relationship with your dad that's a lot more meaningful, and one that you deserve to have. Is that what it's like?

Re: I miss my Dad

We miss the things that could of been. It's okay to miss your dad, or what he represents. You're still awesome and if he'd be proud or not, we are.
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Re: I miss my Dad

@OceanMaster1207
I'm not going to go into the whole family situation but he definitely was not a nice person who really shouldn't of had children and caused lots and lots of hurt. That's why it's so hard for me, cause he never bought any joy to my life ever, so why do I miss him?
He was never going to change and be someone worth having in my life, but deep down I wish he was here so he could still be in my life
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I miss my Dad

Thanks @N1ghtW1ng
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I miss my Dad

@j95 it sounds like he really had a strong impact on you and your family which caused a lot of pain. Were there times when he was much kinder or acted more fatherly that might be causing you to miss him?

Re: I miss my Dad

@OceanMaster1207 I don't remember a time when he was nice to me, the closest thing to nice was when he would manipulate me into thinking he was a half ok person so he could cause more problems.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I miss my Dad

but no, I can't think of one time in my whole life when he was nice to me, I really can't
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: I miss my Dad

@j95 it must have been really difficult when he was living with you at home, and then not being able to remember him being genuinely loving towards you must cause you to feel a lot of hurt. Do you wish things were different between you two?

Re: I miss my Dad

Yeah for sure @OceanMaster1207 I wish I had a relationship with him that is similar to ones the my friends have their parents like being able to talk about stuff, going to the footy, all that sort of thing. Its never going to happen because he died in 2014, but I wish that at some point in my life I had a half decent relationship with him and that he actually cared about me.

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//