I really can’t handle it anymore

Not relying on but they were providing me joy but now it is also apparent they are struggling too
Can you beleive it might be like this all year?
I want to die

What you said is fair enough - so many people are struggling right now. It can be so hard to rely on other people when you realise they are upset too.. especially young children. It sounds like you were doing a whole lot to support your family.. you deserve some support too! It can be so heart breaking to know that the little people in our life are feeling the effects as well. I hope that he can continue to bring some moments of joy to your life throughout this. Honestly, I can't believe that this might last the whole year! My brain struggles to even contemplate that

When you mention wanting to die.. are you thinking of acting on those thoughts?

I have got to log off and want to make sure you have some support @Saltwaterdreamtime. If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please talk to someone you trust or contact a service like those listed here. There may be others that you find helpful instead - please do what works for you. It is understandable that this is having a serious impact on you, so these services are also available just for a chat too. You don't have to keep this inside and go through it alone

Those services have 3-4 hour long wait times

Just to make life fucking easier our landlord wants to move in here is that even legal we won’t be able to afford a bond for a new house either so we’re fucked 

Hey @Saltwaterdreamtime 

I just wanted to check in with you, I can hear what your saying about losing connection and it impacting everyone. I also feel you when you say that you can't imagine this going on for the year, for me there are times when everything feels so heavy. I know you spoke about your little one feeling the impact too, that would be so hard as a parent. I reckon we can all learn a bit from kids, in how they are so impressed by the little things like jumping in puddles, I reckon when things ease up I am going to enjoy the little things so much more.

That is so crap about your landlord you might have already checked,  but have you checked to see if its still legal with this COVID stuff as the government is putting the pressure on landlords to do right by tenants.

@Claire-RO  I have tried to and I can’t find any information 

The reasoning behind this was because they feel here, as in, my community, is a safer place to be as older people rather than the city, or some shit like that. 
I never hear anything from then they pull this card, seriously. 

Hi @Saltwaterdreamtime, it sounds like a really stressful situation for you. I found this website for the Tenants Union of NSW. It has information for other states and answers a lot of common questions that people have had. If your answer is not there, you can send them through an email (unfortunately they have closed their telephone line). They also have other resources and referrals specifically for COVID-19 related issues  I hope it helps.

Not what I fucking need right now @Taylor-RO 😞 I’m so defeated so tired yet can’t sleep at night I’m exhausted I’m done with everything 

Totally understandable @Saltwaterdreamtime, things were already hard enough for you without this The impact that this virus has had is just so massive. Being exhausted but unable to sleep must leave you feeling pretty terrible the next day. I hope you are able to rest some time over the weekend. Is there an opportunity for you to teach your little one how to kick the footy this weekend (not sure how old he is)?

@Taylor-RO
2 and it’s been raining most of the night and morning here. My partner isn’t feeling well and has to have a phone doctor appointment, so I said we would have a day together.
I’m thinking of rugging us both up and taking him out to a park or something somewhere for a run, anywhere we go has to have lots of space because this kid has a lot of energy to burn, at the best of times let alone after being stuck indoors...

We just went to our nearest footy oval @lokifish Nobody else there for obvious reasons - the weather is terrible! But nothing some gumboots and a coat won’t fix!

@Taylor-RO and we kicked the footy, well we tried to! 

I'm glad to hear you had such a lovely day with your family (despite the rain!) @Saltwaterdreamtime 🙂 How did you go with kicking the footy in this weather!

We did lots of puddle jumping and mud fun instead @Andrea-RO  not a lot of football  kicking

Hi @Saltwaterdreamtime 

Puddle jumping and mud fun reminds me of Peppa Pig 🙂

How have you been lately?

@Saltwaterdreamtime  I'm really sorry to hear that things are hard right now. Do you feel comfortable talking about what's happening for you at the moment? 

I think a lot of us can identify with the Easter long weekend just gone having being a pretty challenging time, I know for me it did bring up a lot of memories about what we have done in previous years, and the sense of loss and frustration did hit home a bit. 

I know you've had a lot on your plate recently too. We're all here if you want to talk.  

For the first time in my life I’ve celebrated Easter in recent years, and that’s been one of my highlights @Janine-RO
Getting to see my mentors, they are family to me but we don’t often all come together, kids and babies included, we have birthdays but someone is always working, or kids are sick, or for whatever reason people can’t make it, l so Christmas and Easter are our big things where EVERYONE is there and I get a sense of belonging when I’m around them. Now I’m not sure when I will see any of them again. Our Easter was ok at home but it was not the same. It’s bought back a lot of painful memories for me when I wasn’t given an opportunity to celebrate times like Easter and I spent most days inside my house with my parents, they weren’t fun times, while other kids around us went away on holidays or camping. Now that I finally have the chance to, I can’t, because I’m not allowed. 

@Saltwaterdreamtime  it sounds like Christmas and Easter were really special times for you, your family, and your mentors and loved ones - I can really identify with that, I felt a real sense of loss this weekend too. It must be especially hard if it brings back painful memories for you from your past, and I'm really sorry to hear that. I keep telling myself that I will never take another family gathering for granted again when this is all over. It sounds like you have a lot of really special people in your life - I hope you can be physically together again really soon. 

Reading about your little one on the scooter made me smile - our little dude is an absolute demon on his balance bike, and I have lost count of the amount of times we've ridden up and down a little footpath where we live. We've also had more than one tantrum (mostly from the toddler, but not always lol) - so many BIG emotions!! 

What are your plans for the rest of the day, can you get outside and do something nice for yourself? 

@Saltwaterdreamtime  I'm sorry that your Easter wasn't the same as how you would spend it in previous years. 😞 But I'm glad that you were surrounded by the people you love this weekend.
It sounds like you live in a great location. 🙂

@WheresMySquishy @Janine-RO Yes we are very lucky hopefully can stay here because I love this community, nice stroll to the beach from our place to, but it’s very hill so a nice stroll is very exhausting...