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I think I have PTSD

I’ve been experiencing PTSD like symptoms lately more intensely lately. I don’t really feel like talking about it. I feel so disconnected from everyone. I’ve coped with my symptoms by avoidance for the last few years. I do see a psychiatrist, and have been doing so for a few years. I’m on medication to stabilise my mood and sleep, my mood is a lot more stable then it used to be. But I can’t shake the anxiety off.  

 

I know my psychiatrist is aware of I have experienced stressful events. But he isn’t forcing me to open up and wants me to take my time. But I don’t I’ll ever be able to talk about it. I do want to get better.

Re: I think I have PTSD

@Beautifullybroken I noticed that this is your first post on the forum - welcome Heart

Thank you for opening up to us about your experience with trauma - it sounds really tough, and must be so exhausting to always be on guard like that, as you try to protect yourself from potential triggers and dangers. 

The brain is very good at looking out for danger when it's experienced a trauma - and that can unfortunately make life feel a lot more dangerous and difficult than it is without PTSD. 

Hold onto that hope of wanting to feel better and learning to be safe again  - the road to recovery it isn't easy or quick, but it can absolutely happen Heart 

 

Great to hear you have some strategies and tools and that they've helped your mood - including your psychiatrist and medication. Do you also see a therapist - a counsellor or psychologist? 

 

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Re: I think I have PTSD

Hey @Beautifullybroken,

This sounds really difficult and I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. just a little to add onto @gina-RO's great advice, we are always here to talk when you need!

I'm super glad to hear that your mood is more stable - anxiety is tough to deal with but you are doing great Smiley Happy! You can get through this Heart

Re: I think I have PTSD

@gina-RO@annabethxchasethank you for the support Smiley Happy <3 . I guess it’s a wake up call. I’m studying abnormal psychology, it can be really overwhelming, but I’ve been aware of the anxiety for a long time. I could write about it, try to find hope in my Faith, being spiritual does help. But it does terrify my that I don’t have as much control as I would like to. It’s hard to be in a situation where one feels so trapped.

I used to see a psychologist but I discontinued seeing her because I hit a dead end. It’s not that it didn’t help, it was no longer helping. My psychiatrist has suggested that he could refer me to a psychologist if I feel uncomfortable talking about it. The issue is I feel uncomfortable talking to anyone. And when I have discussed it in the past with family and friends, I was on the edge afterwards.

Re: I think I have PTSD

@Beautifullybroken ah it is the catch 22 ... needing to talk about trauma in order to heal, but not being able to talk about the trauma without becoming more unwell... 

It really is a case of being able to find other ways to heal and feel safe so that you can safely talk about the trauma - perhaps it's worth trying a new psychologist and talking to them about how to do this?  It might take some time to build up trust and rapport with a new therapist, but having a plan to move through the trauma with them could really help?

 

Really glad to hear you find safety in your faith and that it helps you. I can imagine feeling trapped must be horrible Smiley Sad  

Are there things you do now that help you to relax, or take your mind off it for a little while? 

 

 

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Re: I think I have PTSD

@gina-RO I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. I know typically in therapy people talk about trauma in detail, but I have found I can easily become so focused on it after talking to friends and family. I prefer to take a different approach, like learning to relax, learning to accept, coming back into the present, and finding hope in my faith.

Re: I think I have PTSD

That's totally understandable. Discussing past traumas may be common in therapy, but everyone's recovery path differs, and focusing on adaptive coping, stress-management techniques could be really helpful as well, both to manage the anxiety itself, and to help you feel less on-edge when you do open up to friends/family. The latter in particular could be really important as you develop your support network- even if you're not comfortable disclosing everything to them, it never hurts to feel a little more connected to the people you care about.

 

Have you spoken to your psychiatrist about exploring more relaxation/stress-reduction/mindfulness exercises?

Re: I think I have PTSD

@Asche the concept of mindfulness is familiar for me, though I can explore relaxation/stress/mindfulness exercise in more depth during my next appointment. I can one of the biggest issues I had was I was trying to resist the pain, I still feel anxious, but not as much. And its been a little easier to focus on uni. It's that time of semester, everything is due.

Re: I think I have PTSD

@Beautifullybroken , that makes a lot of sense that it would be difficult for you to be mindful, while feeling pain . 

And yes It definitely is a stressful time of semester - hope you're managing ok with everything! 

Sounds like a good plan for your next appointment, around the relaxation exercises. x

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Re: I think I have PTSD

i know how you feel i am with youHeart