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I've let them down.

Yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks, i went back to school. I was told to go to the pricepals office because he wanted to talk to me.

 

The talk was about my attendance and all the work i've not completed. It was also about me being kicked out once i turn 17 which is in October. He said the he doubts that i'd make it through year 11 to continue to year 12. That made my heart shadder. Everyone in my always spoke high of me saying that i'd be the first in the family to finish highschool and there i was standing in the princepals office getting told that there was 90% of me not finishing year 11 and going onto year 12. I might of wanted to drop out and all but only because school was stressfull enough but when i was spoken to about it all, i was ready to break down in tears. 

 

I went home and i couldn't stare at my mum, how was i suppossed to tell her? How was i supposed to tell the person who always pushed me to go further, the one who believed in me the most? But i did. I told her with all the courage i had within me.

 

Do you want to know what's worse than someone being angry at you? It's someone being dissapointed in you. Though she didn't say the words i could just tell by the way she didn't say anything. I asked her continuously "Are you angry at me?" But she stuttered as she tried to reply and then i knew, i let her down. I let everyone down that ever believed in me. 

 

I just don't know what to do anymore...

 

-YourName Smiley Sad 

Re: I've let them down.

Hey @YourName,

 

How difficult it must be to hear those words from the principal, I'm sorry that things went that way.

 

It also sounds like you did the right thing by telling your mum, and perhaps you can talk to her about what the options are. How do you think this would go?

 

Not everyone finishes school, and that's okay. What is important though, is that if you want to finish school, that you really put your mind to it and do your absolute best. Is there a reason why you didn't go to school for 2 weeks? 

If you don't want to finish school would there be something else you'd be interested in instead? 

 

Here to help,

 

Lahna

Re: I've let them down.

Hey @YourName and welcome to ReachOut,

School can be stressful, and it's terrible that you heard that from the principal. If you still want to stay in school, could you try talking to the principal or your teachers to work out a plan?

It's great that you told you're mum. It's a tough thing to share. Like @Lahna suggested, can you talk to her about your options?

Keep us updated Smiley Happy
_________________________________________________

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Re: I've let them down.

Hi @YourName Smiley Happy

 

Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing?

 

It must have been an incredibly upsetting time for you, have you perhaps had a chance to talk with a careers advisor or a counsellor about future directions? Perhaps you even have someone you look up to that can mentor you through this difficult time, they are usually key in identifying your strengths and where you are able to put your abilities to great use Smiley Happy

 

Right now there are so many options out there and it can be incredibly overwhelming trying to sort through them all and find a direction, I just want you to know that a lot of people go through this and its completely normal and boy is it HARD.

 

An important question you should maybe ask yourself is whether you are disappointed in yourself? figuring out how you feel about the situation is key to figuring out what you want to do next. If you are constantly being held under the pressure of other peoples expectations you are bound to feel uncertain, do you like school? do you want to finish? try and see what your answers are without having your familys voice inside your head and see what comes out, it might surprise you Smiley Happy

 

I believe in you Smiley Very Happy

Re: I've let them down.

Hello @YourName,

 

Everyone would have react the same way as you if they were in the same situation, but you were right in telling your mother. She may be disappointed, yes, but i do not think that she blames you. Sometimes it might be you projecting your feelings as well even if it is not your fault. School is hard, but there are ways to remedy that, just as there is no problem without a solution.

 

In regards to you being expelled, perhaps you should schedule an appointment with your principal and you and your mother can see if there are any alternative arrangements. Plead with your principal to give you a chance to redeem yourself, and promise him that you will try harder. Say it with conviction. Ask him to please let you have a chance to prove yourself and not let anyone you love, and anyone who ever believed in you down anymore. "Where there's a will, there's a way."

 

People can, and will, doubt you in life, but what is important is that you do not doubt yourself.  You know what you have done wrong and you now know what to improve on. People have the capacity to change, and i believe that you can change for the better.

 

If your principal is still insistent on expelling you, then perhaps this is not the school for you. Move to a different school and make a positive name for yourself and show your old school that they were wrong in letting you go. Remember, schools are not for everybody. Mark Zuckerberg never finished school but he is now a billionaire. Just do something you enjoy, not what your family or everyone else expects of you. If they truly love you, they would want you to be happy, not regretting that you never followed your dreams. Sometimes things turn out not in the way you expected, but it is still a good surprise nonetheless.

 

Here is a recent post about someone who despite those closest to him not believing in him, he is attempting to follow his heart anyway.

 

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Something-s-not-right/Me-Against-the-World/m-p/203337#M18004

 

If you do get a second chance, you really have to work hard at it. Sit in the front row, ask questions and ask for help. Take notes diligently and attend school regularly. If you are struggling with schoolwork and your family can spare some finances, get a good tutor to bring you back on your feet. If your family cannot, then ask your teachers. They are always more than willing to help students who want to learn. I have previously posted about what you can do to improve in exams time so have a look.

 

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/Exam-Stress/m-p/203072#M14848

 

Think positively. You need to be positive most when things gets tough. "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it's going to launch you into something great."

 

These posts are about school as well, it might help you feel better so check them out. Some of the advice might also benefit you now, or later on.

 

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Something-s-not-right/i-feel-hopeless/m-p/203322#M18000

 

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/How-to-deal-with-stress/m-p/203378#M14905

 

Good luck! Smiley Happy Please tell me how the talk goes and what the decisions are in regards to your schooling.

 

 

 

Winter_Rain

 

Re: I've let them down.

Hi @YourName,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. 

I wanted to check in on you and see how you were doing?