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Im 16 living away from home and im scared

I was kicked out of my family home about 5 months ago. i now live with some so called friends of mine but i feel cheated by them and i dont know what to do. im terrified that my future is ruined by this single event and im now paying the price mentally.

Re: Im 16 living away from home and im scared

This sucks dude, I hate to hear you are going through such a tough time, and you are feeling cheated by people you thought or think are supposed to be your friends... especially when in a time like this all you need is friends and support I bet. 

 

But hey, here is a positive and I may not be able to offer much. Your future is definitely NOT ruined by a single event! Unfourtunatly there are hard lessons to be learnt throughout life. One's that at the time feel as if your world is crumbling. It must suck to feel cheated by friends, how is it you have come to this feeling if you dont mind sharing?

 

I can deffs relate to feeling like one stupid mistake has ruined your life... but if I sit and think and look back... I have felt that many times! which is... impossible to have a mistake thats ruined your life but then another one! The world is not so absolute and there is always hope for you!

 

Congratulations for opening up, here on reachout I hope you will find some more applicable advice and some friendly support welcome to the forum. Good luck on your journey through these tough times. It will test your character and it will no doubt be hard on you. Remember to take care of yourself, and do your best to be the best you can be. That is all you can do. One day at a timeSmiley Happy

Re: Im 16 living away from home and im scared

Hey there @headspaced, and welcome to RO! First of all, I'm so sorry that you had to leave home under what sounds like pretty awful circumstances. Being kicked out of home can be really tough for many reasons, and while I agree with @Stagnator that this event doesn't have to define your entire life, trying to get past that mental block can be difficult. Do you think talking to someone about it would help you? Do you have someone who you trust to talk to about it? Otherwise, there is always professional help.

 

How come you're feeling cheated by the friends you live with? Have you talked with them at all about how you feel? Communicating about this kind of issue can be really tense and fraught, but bringing up the conversation might help to create a resolution.

 

 

Re: Im 16 living away from home and im scared

ever since ive left home ive felt like all my "lifelines" have gone. i had very close friends before this all happened but now they have stopped speaking to me, maybe because my situation must complicate their lives for some reason. At this very moment i feel cheated by those that i live with now, it was all good and happy until i asked if i could have a little more support as the world became heavier on my shoulders. they didnt help me, they have only made it much worse. Every day i sit in my room alone, every single day and if i got up to say hello they would just ignore me, i hate it so much. Like what i have i done to wrong them, nothing. i dont ask much of them at all and the moment i do i get pushed to the ground and kicks Theoretically of course, but its not right. 

 

I try my hardest to get out of the house as much as i can, so now i have two jobs. 8 hours at my admin job and another 5 at a pizza shop. yeah you could say thats a good thing to get out of the house and see new people, but i dont see it that way. i just get over tired and stressed out about everything. knowing that as soon as i get back to the hell i call home, i would be all alone again. 

 

I need someone to tell me its okay, i need someone who will support me with what ever they can. Im in a very Dark Place and i dont see myself getting out of it any time soon 

 

Re: Im 16 living away from home and im scared

Hi @headspaced,

 

Thanks so much for sharing. Moving away from home can be very daunting, especially when it's something that you didn't necessarily get a say in. I can deffenetly relate to your feelings about one event ruining your life, but I am here to assure you that it most certainly is not the be all or end all of your life, although it may feel this way at times.

 

I think your doing the right thing by getting out of the house and keeping yourself busy, although you also need time to relax and take a breath as well. Often over working yourself can make things worse. When I first moved out of home, I had similair feelings to you. The people I was living with weren't very supportive or inclusive, and it got me down and upset. As I didn't know anyone else in that town, I had no one else to turn to.  Do you like excersise? Maybe you could spend your afternoons or early mornings going for a walk and spending that time to reflect as well as time to yourself, this seemed to help me stay sane during a time that felt so crazy.

 

Don't be afraid to seek professional help, talking to a counsellor can be very helpful, and it is actually what helped me find light in the lonliness of living away from home. I also just want to reassure you that things get better. I know that they don't seem that way now, but often it takes time to settle into a new home and a new routine, try and keep positive and surround yourself with people who have that positive energy themselves. Maybe there is people at your workplace you could hang out with after work?

Re: Im 16 living away from home and im scared

Hi @headspaced how are you feeling today? To start with I would like to commend you on your ability to hold down two jobs at 16, it sounds like you are quite a hard working and motivated person. 

 

It seems like you are really struggling with the recent changes to your life and are looking for someone who can provide you with support. Have you tried linking in with headspace? They may be able to put you in touch with some support services in your local area that fit your needs at this point in your life. 

 

Do you have any hobbies other than work, such as sport or reading? I find that making that step out of my comfort zone and joining groups in the community outside of work is quite relaxing, not only do I get to meet new people with similar interests but also I get out of the house and doing something I enjoy!

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Re: Im 16 living away from home and im scared

hey @headspaced

 

Seems like lots of people have offered some good advice and insights.

 

Are there things you do that feel like they help?  For instance, when things are feeling really chaotic for me, I actually enjoy work, because for those 5 or so hours, all I have to worry about is doing the job, which im usually quite good at.

 

When things are a bit crazy, I find that it helps me to focus on the things I do have control of rather than the things I dont have control of. When people are not treating us how we think is fair, this can cause a lot suffering, because other people are not something we really have control over. Perhaps try focus on your own character, and despite these other people, if you uphold what you think is right in yourself, then I reckon your doing well.

 

As much as we hate adversity when we are in them, if we are able to battle through with integrity these situations in the long term can help make us stronger and better people.

 

A cool quote that I held onto is "A calm sea never made a skilled sailor". You will get through this, and when you do, hopefully you will have a bunch of tools for a the future, when things are not so rocky.

 

Again, well done having 2 jobs and living out of home at 16. Thats seriously awesome! You may not realise it, but your so much further ahead than other 16 year olds, whos parents are probably forcing them to get jobs and making sure they are not late for their shifts. When you are older, this 'life expereince' is going to shine through you and take you to higher places than if you were not in the situations.

 

^ the above looks at the silver lining - however, for some practical techniques to help things feel a bit better today is to start a practise of mindfulness meditation.

 

To most people meditation initiatially seems like something that may not be worth the time. But TRUST me, mindfulness is what helped me so much through year 12 stress while juggling 2 jobs myself. Its really worth getting into, and it does pay off. There is so much research behind mindfulness that they are now making Law students and medical students do it at university. Some countries are even introducing it to their parlimentary members.

 

I dont want to leave you with too much of an essay to read, so hit me up if you got any particular questions Smiley Happy