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Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

Today was the last day of a week of staff training with people I don't really know mostly and fuck it's hard. We just had end of week staff drinks after a weird group competition and interacting with groups of people (or most individuals) is just so confusing and I don't know what they want and I just never fit right and I make attempts to join in the conversation but then they all take it the wrong way. I wish everything would just stop.

Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

I'm sorry you found it difficult at the staff drinks @hellofriend. I often find work-dos to be quite awkward. It sounds as though you also find it hard to make small talk with people you barely know or maybe don't have things in common with? It sucks hey? Not an easy thing to do! I think it's awesome that you still went though, that shows strength so well done! I would have totally bailed cause I'm a big chicken 😂 What was your training for by the way? Is it for a new job? Or just upping your skills?

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Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

Hi @hellofriend,

 

Just checking in to see how you are going this week. Do you have work again this week?

 

Have you been working with these people for a while, or is this group relatively new? It's so hard to interact with people we don't know well! It can be super exhausting too. 

 

Hoping you were able to do something nice for yourself over the weekend after a big week of training Heart

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Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

Thanks guys

 

The training was upskilling, and the group had people who worked at many different sites so some people I'd met and some I hadn't.

 

It was a draining week with a really socially confusing end and alcohol (that I was drinking when I didn't know what to say) really intensified distressed feelings.

 

The weekend was a struggle too but I don't have work til next week.

 

Atm I'm stressed and confused about if/how to ask for study accommodations I need... :/

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Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

Hey @hellofriend , 

 

That sounds like a really draining weekend, you're definitely not alone in finding those kind of things really exhausting and stressful. And adding alcohol into the mix can make it even worse sometimes too - I'm glad you have a bit of free time now, are you able to replenish a bit and do something kind for yourself? 

 

From my own experience both having juggled uni and study, and also having been a manager with a lot of uni students as staff, my advice would be to just be as upfront as possible, and ask really early for what you think you'll need. Most managers will really appreciate having as much notice as possible for stuff like that (for example, if there's weeks where you need fewer shifts, or if you need time for assessments etc). It can definitely be anxiety provoking having to ask, but I know that when I was a manager in that situation, I always admired the people who were really proactive about it, and was more than happy to do whatever possible to accommodate them. The more notice ,the better! 

 

Can you make the requests by email? Sometimes that can be less confronting, plus it can be helpful as a manager to have a paper trail of people's requests. 

 

Good luck, let us know how you go Smiley Happy

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Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

I'm a little unsure about how to go about it. I'm getting a qualification through my work (an RTO), and I've got a few years of experience and other study I've done so I should be able to RPL a lot of it. I first got sent heaps of paperwork asking what skills I've got for lots of units and what evidence I think I can provide for them. I'm autistic and found it pretty daunting and I wasn't sure if I was filling it out right, I eventually filled it out and sent it on, I didn't get anything back. A lot of people with less experience are doing the qual over the course of the year, I think we're hoping I can have it done in a few months... I basically just need clear tasks and to be able to check in with the trainer to make a plan and then every now and then to reassess/ check in with them. Which sounds like it might not even be accommodations, it might just be a normal thing for anyone to need. They live several hours away so it's a bit difficult, but I end up near them semi regularly... Also the trainer is nice, and I think they also want me to get the qual soon. My work knows I'm autistic (put it on the medical form) but I'm not sure if the trainer does. I'm not sure on a form asking me if I have a disability/impairment/long term condition and if so what area what box to tick... I've got it down to learning, medical condition, other or unspecified as possible options, but idk. They said at training last week the qualification should be student led which makes me a little scared they don't want to help people figure out how to get it done. I'm going to email the trainer asking to meet up/discuss when I next pass through in a week or two. Immediate things I'm trying to figure out:

 

-what box to tick

- to include in the email 'discuss accommodations for my disability' or just 'make a plan for getting my qualification'

 

Then after that there'll be plenty more things to communicate and confusion I'm sure

 

Does anyone have any tips so far?

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Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

Hi @hellofriend , 

 

I hear you on how daunting doing paperwork for training stuff can be, you're definitely not alone there. 

 

I think emailing your trainer with a list of questions sounds like a really good plan - I find putting things in bullet points can be helpful, that way there's clear questions for them and you can tick them off as you go. Those "tick a box" forms can be confusing - my rule of thumb is if you think you will need any specific adjustments made, then do note it on your form - for example, if you may need extra breaks, or a quiet room to do assessment tasks, or just want them to be aware of what styles of communication work best for you. 

 

I think what you've written here makes a lot of sense, maybe it could be a starting point for an email to your trainer- what do you think? 

 

It sounds like you're doing a really great job so far Smiley Happy I know I definitely struggle with navigating study bureaucracies sometimes, especially when you have to wait for a long time or don't hear back, it can be so frustrating- hopefully the rest of the process will go smoothly for you Smiley Happy

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Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

Thanks @Janine-RO Smiley Happy 

 

I sent the trainer an email yesterday asking to meet up and discuss getting the qualification, including possible disability accommodations. I also said I was autistic and found clear tasks and structure really helpful.

 

He emailed back today saying that would be fine and he'd put together a list of tasks for me to do to get the qualification.

 

I think that's pretty much all I need from him (it's not like a classroom environment).

 

So I'm a pretty nervous about meeting with him but I think it'll be fine

 

I just ticked other on the form, from what I've heard no-one even reads them Smiley Tongue

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Re: Interacting with people and trying to do life is hard and unpleasant

Hi @hellofriend 

 

Good to hear you're figuring out some tasks that will help you get the qualification. 

 

I hope the meeting goes well but definitely relate to the nerves. Are there any things that helps you push through nerve wracking experiences like that?