cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

I've been thinking about why I'm obsessed with perfectionism, I think it's because I have damaged self-esteem. While my mood disorder may have settled down from before, I'm dealing with something else. I've been trying to understand what's been going on in my head. I've come to the conclusion, I've allowed emotional abuse (or imagined emotional abuse) take a toll on my anxiety levels. I don't know if my reaction is appropriate. But either way, it's my reaction. I don't know if I'm too sensitive. Im not clear on whether it was emotional abuse, because a part of my head still doesn't trust my judgement, im frequently second guessing myself.

 

I've been taught what I believe about myself is false, I've been given the impression I'm hopeless, abnormally sensitive and abusive. I started to doubt my sanity, questioned if I was sociopathic. Which I know isn't me. But still I feel uncertain. I developed an obsession with perfectionism, almost became anorexic, never in my life have I ever felt so unsatisified with how I look. I thought if I could be perfect, I would finally feel good enough, if I was smart enough, pretty enough, prefect in every way, I could heal my damaged self worth. 

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

Hey @Creativegirl12, hmmm this is so hard to answer. I'm no professional and the best person to talk to would be a professional. But I've been told my childhood (which included a LOT of bullying) has contributed to my current mental health; so I'd probably say that the abuse we experience can have a significant impact on us. However abuse (emotional or physical, it doesn't matter), is going to impact us all in different ways because we're individuals. I get that perfectionism is really hard for you and I'm sorry. I also don't think there is anything wrong with being sensitive; it's just good to be aware of it (I'm super sensitive too). 

 

Do you have a someone you can talk to this about away from RO? It might allow you to talk in more detail Smiley Happy

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

@Creativegirl12 def with @loves netball a mental health professional would be a great place to explore these thoughts. Do you have a counsellor you meet with?

 

It sounds like you've been through a tonne of heavy stuff at the hands of other people which sucks, I think it most definitely can manifest a level of perfectionism. It's like we become hardest on ourselves, that way noone can tear us down because they can never scrutinise us as much as we scrutinise ourselves. Thanks for sharing this journey, it's so important. And really common I think..

 

I had a similar time early in life, and as a result was really hard on myself in terms of doing everything exactly right; looking a certain way and what not... One day I thought "Would I speak to a friend the way I speak to myself?" and the answer was most definitely no.. Go easy on yourself Smiley Happy And know that you're wonderful just as you are.

 

Also this article about being sensitive is cool.

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

Hey @Bree-RO, I know that article wasn't for me, but I enjoyed it since I've been bullied for being sensitive so thanks Smiley Happy

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

@loves netball oh I am so stoked! That is no good, and quite a bit to remind yourself not to take on... Boo bullieezz.

 

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

Now I'm triggered @Bree-RO and probs gonna start crying and this isn't my thread, so I'll go

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

@loves netball Ah bummer Smiley Sad Good idea... could go back and have a look at those agreements you've put in place with yourself.

Always good to have a break from the computer when you're feeling like this Smiley Happy speak soon.

Highlighted

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

@loves netball I do need to stop beating myself up for being sensitive. I mean, we are human, everyone reacts differently and that's okay. Being sensitive doesn't make me abnormal. I do hope you feel better soon too <3

@Bree-RO I might bring it up in my next session, thanks for the article, it was really interesting to read.

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

Hey @Creativegirl12 Smiley Happy a fellow sensitive soul here - you mentioned that you thought if you could look perfect this would help heal your self worth - are there any other things in your life that help you feel worthy?

Re: Is my obsession with perfectionism linked to emotional abuse?

@Creativegirl12 Everyone has different nature and they behave differently.But you should  think yourself and come out this as soon as possible.