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Is this workplace bullying?

Hey all,

I'm new and have never really voiced out these sort of things... Anyway, hope I get good and useful insights here.

I'm a female who works work in a male-dominated industry and I've sort of prepared myself for what's coming ie not being taken seriously as a female, not as competent as men etc.

But there's an old guy I closely work with who's never talked to me for about 2 years now. I try to be nice by asking how his day's been, etc, but all I seem to get is a blank look and he just completely ignores me. He's been ignoring me in public in front of co-workers, never validates whatever I have to say and acts all intimidating around me. What I don't understand is he speaks to everyone else except me. I've been thinking as to why he does it and I'm afraid if I talk to him, he will just ignore me again.

Everyone at work knows what he's like, I have told people about only to get replies like "but he's just really like that". I get along with everyone else but I feel isolated at the same time as it feels there's no point talking to people about it.

I even told my partner and all he could say was something along the lines of "that's just tough".

I don't know who else to tell that would understand Smiley Sad


Re: Is this workplace bullying?

Hey derailed1,

 

Welcome to ReachOut.


This does sound like a really tough situation, especially if you are working really close with this guy! It really sounds as though you've done everything right, you've tried to make small talk with him and been polite... But 2 years? That's a long time! No wonder you are frustrated. Is him not talking to you affecting your work performance in anyway? If so, that's DEFINITELY not on!

 

I know you've spoken to others about it at work, but have you spoken to your boss? Is your boss approachable? Do you think your boss would take the situation seriously - especially if you emphasize that you have tried so hard to be polite and it's been 2 years!?

 

I'm sorry, but I really don't know what else to offer in terms of advice... I agree with your partner, it sounds really tough, but it's such a difficult situation. I DO believe deliberately ignoring someone could be seen as a form of bullying but I'm honestly not sure... If you think it would help, could you speak to your union rep at work? Especially if it is affecting your work performance at all?

 

If not, I'd recommend just trying to surround yourself with the other, more friendly people at work!!

 

Take care.

 

MM

Re: Is this workplace bullying?

Hey derailed1, I'd love to hear if you took any action on this issue? It's pretty horrible that you have to prepare yourself to be discriminated against - that's not cool! But good on you for tackling a male dominated industry. You will make it easier for those that follow! Smiley Happy

 

I once had a boss that used to ignore me sometimes, and I didn't really recognise it as bullying at the time, but in hindsight I feel very differently. I remember before we all went on Christmas break she said Merry Christmas to the other girls and then walked straight past me. I was a bit baffled anyone would act so immaturely. My take on it was that she had her own issues & insecurities, and there's every chance this guy does too. Just my thoughts/unprofessional opinion!

 

I guess it comes down to how much it bothers you?

 

Welcome to the forums BTW Smiley Happy

Re: Is this workplace bullying?

This is defintely a 'workplace bullying'.You should talk to management regarding it.Women usually encounter such things in workplace usually.These are things which requires immediate attention from the management and need to be fixed asap.However management could provde employees training on counter bullying.Some institutes are providing 'Workplace Bullying Training Program' which helps employees themselves to counter bullying.

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Re: Is this workplace bullying?

I hope the situation is better for you, now. How about an update?