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It feels like everyone is leaving me

I've known for a while that my treating team has to let me go soon but I just found out that my phone counsellor is leaving for another job in a week. I feel alone and abandoned Smiley Sad I know I shouldn't take it personally but why does everyone have to leave me at the same time? It's like the world wants me to be alone Smiley Sad

 

The only way I was coping with the fact my treating team is finishing up with me is thinking that my counsellor would still be there for me.

 

But now I have to start building trust all over again with my new psychologist Smiley Sad and it took me months to open up to my old supports. I don't mean to sound all self-pitying and I'm pretty sure I'm overreacting a little. I'm lucky to have had all that support. But I'm just ranting so don't mind me hehe Smiley Tongue

 

I've honestly been crying non-stop since I found out yesterday my counsellor is leaving. I didn't even know I felt that attached. This is weird but it's like they're dying because I'll never hear from them again??

 

Rationally, I just want to move on, but my emotions aren't getting the message.

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 👋

I'm not sure we've ever spoken on here? But I just wanted to shout out and say your message absolutely broke my heart and I just wish I could give you a big hug!! I have serious attachment issues so totally get where you're coming from and I'm so sorry to hear everyone is leaving at once! That is so upsetting and wouldn't be an easy thing to be going through so please don't feel like you have to down play it. You're not over reacting. That shit hurts! And you're allowed to admit that and cry and feel upset okay, don't feel like you can't. Cause to me it shows you had a really great team working with you? So of course you'll miss them! And I understand the comment about you feeling like they're dying - it makes total sense. Which is why you should allow yourself to grieve. I remember finding an article a while back about how some clients go through a grieving process when theraputic relationships end and it's SO TRUE! If I can find it again I will share it with you. I have only been seeing my psychologist for a year but just thinking about our last session makes me sick and a mess so I found it comforting to read that it's something alot of people struggle with. Is there anything we can do to help? 

 

I'm wondering if you would feel comfortable maybe chatting with your counselor about these feelings? And possibly someone in your treatment team? If they understand how upset and distressed it's making you they might have ways they could make the process easier for you to adjust to? I'm not sure but maybe if they knew your counselor was finishing up too then someone from the team that you're familiar with could step in for a little? Just until you've adjusted to the new psychologist? 

 

I hope you're doing okay. I really do feel for you ❤ Please don't down play it because it is like grieving someone and grief is NOT a fun process. So be kind to yourself ❤

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Hey @lost_Space_Explorer5,

I don't think you are overreacting at all, it's perfectly a reasonable reaction to something like this.

Counselors are generally sensitive to how emotionally dependent their clients become on them, so perhaps you could have one last conversation with them as to how you can move forward. I'm sure they won't think it's weird and it might help you get some "closure". There could be a possibility of you talking to them again somehow, so please don't be afraid to share how you fell with your counselor before they leave.

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Hello @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , it is good to see all the support that others users have provided! I hope that you find their advice to be helpful Heart I also agree that your reaction is appropriate, it can be a big thing to change counsellors. Especially when you have seen that counsellor for a while and have developed a really supportive relationship. I hope that you are able to build trust quickly with your new psychologist and that you find that relationship to be just as supportive as the one with your counsellor. Hopefully you have been able to have a break from crying and that you are feeling a bit better Smiley Happy

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Hey @MB95, I don't think we have- nice to meet you! 🙂

Thanks for your lovely response! I would love to read that article if you can find it again (no pressure). I took the day off uni work to feel sad and distract myself with TV shows so I'm feeling a bit better now! It was kind of funny when my counsellor broke the news to me because I had just been saying I haven't been able to feel warmth/emotions towards people I knew I cared about. Then when they said they were leaving I was a total mess! So I guess I do care about people! I'll tell my treating team next week and they might be able to talk it through with me.

 

Hey @katurian,

Yeah my counsellor was super delicate about it, it was just a shock because there wasn't much notice. I'm gonna talk to them one last time next week and I sent them a thank you/goodbye email to feel some closure. Thanks for the advice!

 

Hey @TOM-RO,

Thanks for your kind words. Everyone has been really validating so I don't feel as frustrated at myself for feeling sad. I'd been talking to this counsellor longer than my treating team- I think almost two years! And to have it suddenly come to an end really upset me but I knew it was going to happen one day 😢 Everything has to come to an end but it's worth it given how much progress we made. And I'm happy for my counsellor because they're moving on to better things and are gonna help others! Heart

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5, I am glad to hear that you took some time off to feel your emotions. It sounds like this was a really sudden change for you so I don't blame you for feeling out of sorts and upset. As others have said, it shows that your treating team and counsellor had a really positive impact on you. It made me feel really happy for you because if you decide to find new supports, you will have some amazing expectations for them to meet Smiley Happy 

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Taking a day off uni to acknowledge how you're feeling sounds great @Lost_Space_Explorer5! I'm attempting to do the same today.. I tried to get some uni done earlier but just not having a good day so decided I'd come home and just chill out instead. 

 

I couldn't find the link I came across which sucks cause it made so much sense and was so easy to relate too!! I spent ages trying to find it last night and had no luck sorry.. but I did find this one that might also help in some way? At least I hope it does! https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/10/in-grief-terminating-counseling.html?m=1 

 

How are you feeling about everything today anyway? I think it's a good idea to have a chat to your treating team cause they may be able to help in some way. I also hope your last session with your counselor goes well for you this week ❤

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Hey @MB95,
Awesome to hear you took a day off too! 😄 I hope you're feeling better today?

It's sad you couldn't find the link, but thanks for putting in so much effort (you didn't need to!!). I'm feeling a bit better today after talking to my treating team.
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

I've had a bit of a rough day but I'm getting there! Thanks for checking @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ❤

 

Yeah I was bummed I couldn't find the link cause it was so easy to connect with! I wish I'd saved it at the time 😔 

 

I'm glad to hear you had a chat with your treating team and are feeling a little better about things. Did they have any advice about what you could do with your counselor finishing up as well? 

 

I'm here if you need to chat about any of it ❤

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , just wanted to check in and see how you're doing now?

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