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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

You don't have to take this down @Lost_Space_Explorer5, you're just as entitled to your feelings as they are theirs! I'm sorry you've come across a similar post and it's upset you, it sounds as though it may have even triggered you? So I just want to check in and make sure you're okay? 

 

It's certainly NOT selfish for you to feel sad and you shouldn't feel guilty for a second! If you want to talk about it a bit more I'm happy to talk it out with you and maybe why it's making you feel this way? 

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

@MB95 Okay, thanks for being open to chat.

I just really miss her and reading their post reminded me she's gone 😢 I feel really lonely and not attached to anyone. I think I made her go away because I avoided calling sometimes because I didn't like talking about myself so often (with my treating team then her in the same week). And I'm pretty sure I was starting to think one day in the future I'd be okay without needing supports. And then she left. I think I took talking to her for granted. When I was first calling I was super worried she'd leave but she'd been talking to me so long that I dismissed the worry (while knowing one day she'd have to go). I feel like it's all my fault.

But now I'm alone and detached but I think it's for the best

Sorry about the self-pitying rant
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling lonely and detached @lost_Space_Explorer5. I think it can sometimes be quite upsetting when you stop seeing a counsellor/psychologist. It can be especially upsetting when you have a caring relationship or a strong bond with them. You don't have to feel sorry for posting your feelings on here, we are here to support you and welcome you posting stories about how you are feeling and what has been happening for you. Heart.

As MB95 mentioned in their post, it sounds like you may have been a bit triggered by reading through the other users post. Do you have anything enjoyable planned for tonight that can help you feel a bit better?
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

@Sophia-RO Smiley Sad Yeah I'm feeling a bit triggered. I don't have anything planned- I was watching TV but it's not really helping. My thoughts are getting a bit dark again so I'll try to find something more distracting.
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Sorry for the delayed reply @Lost_Space_Explorer5!! I usually use RO on my phone and it just died along with my actual phone charger lol So I'm having a great night! I'm on my laptop now and willing to chat with you for a bit if you like as I know how scary it can be when your thoughts start going to those dark places! I'm happy to help be a bit of a distraction? We can talk about how you're feeling or we can talk about any other crazy topic you might like to! Whatever helps! Just know you are not alone okay <3 

 

As for your counselor leaving, it's not your fault so please don't take that kind of guilt on! I can understand how you may be feeling like you took your time with her for granted by avoiding calling her but there was a reason you didn't at the time and you shouldn't blame yourself for that now. It sounds as though you really miss her and that you are reflecting on all the times you could have connected with her and didn't and are maybe wishing you could now? I'm not sure if I'm making any sense sorry? I'm running on 3 hours sleep at the moment so apologize if this makes no sense!!! 

 

And also please don't apologize for the 'self-pitying rant'. You are 200% entitled to letting out how you feel!! <3

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Also @Lost_Space_Explorer5 what were you watching on TV? Anything exciting? I just bought the Friends Boxset over the weekend after my psych suggested binge watching it on Netflix lol I couldn't find it on Netflix and noticed someone was selling it on marketplace so it was obviously meant to be haha I can't wait to start it from the beginning!! I hate being asked this question because I can never answer it.. but what is your favourite TV show? Or shows if you're like me? lol 

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

@MB95 Oh no! 3hrs of sleep is NOT enough! Sleep is super important especially with uni exams (are yours still running?) You never told me what you're studying btw! (You don't have to say if you don't want!). I was watching Killing Eve season 3 lol, probably not the best for generating happy thoughts.. Ooh I don't know what my favourite show is- I like so many. I watched Torchwood recently and liked that. Sherlock is definitely a good show too.
And I'd love to chat about any random topic 🙂
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

I'm sorry to hear that you feel a bit triggered right now @Lost_Space_Explorer5. That's no good that TV has not been helpful. Is there something else that you can do that can help you feel better? Do you have any tv series that you need to catch up on or any games that you are interested in starting? You mentioned that your thoughts are getting dark again, would you mind explaining a bit more about what you mean? Are you feeling safe right now?

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

Yeah, don't you worry - my brain was making me well aware of that today @Lost_Space_Explorer5 !! I kept trying to get my assignment done and nothing was working. It was like I had to brain cells!! I was planning to have an early night tonight but here I am.. hahaha As for exams - they start tomorrow! But mine isn't for another week thank goodness! What about yours? Remind me about what you're doing again? Sorry - the brain still hasn't kicked in for the day!! It's all good - I am studying occupational therapy Smiley Happy 

 

I have never heard of Killing Eve so I just Youtubed the trailed lol Maybe not great for happy thoughts but it does look like a good show! I might have to check it out myself! Is it on Netflix?

 

Any topics come to mind? 

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me

@Sophia-RO Just like not wanting to live but I'm safe right now. I think I'm getting better at ignoring the thoughts.

@MB95 Haha oh noo, yes thank goodness your exam isn't tomorrow! Hehe that's okay, I'm studying psychology! Occupational therapy sounds cool! I'm thinking of doing post grad study in OT. What's it like? Yep Killing Eve is oddly humorous and playful despite the insane amount of murder in it. Season 2 and 3 are on iview but I think the first season is only on Stan.

Hmm I'm terrible at coming up with topics. What's your favourite fictional character??