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It's all becoming too hard!!!

I haven't really used reach out much since signing up over two years ago, I started high school the year I signed up and since have had so many problems. I've goes back to psychologists. Been In hospital for suicide attempts. Last year I got so sick that I ended up in hospital for a week and a half missing out on my brothers birthday and breaking his heart because I was losing blood my brother and sister both thought I was dying. I've been trying to get through school. But. In year seven. I was tornended and walked all over by a guy in an older level. Telling me things like "your a fat worthless b**ch anyway" or "just go kill yourself before I kill you". Threats became regular and in the end I wouldn't attend school or my brothers football club as this guy also played there. I became a bed bug and wouldn't leave. I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel like could get better. I was so tired. Hence my first attempt. Last year bullying occurred again and I was knocked into walls at school. Laughed at and my hair was pulled. I stopped going once again and this year will hopefully be moving schools after many arguments with my parents. I just wish she understood what goes through my head instead of always yelling at me for feeling sick and being upset. The thought of schools makes me want to vomit and I go days on end without eating. 

Another thing I'm worried about is I go into hospital at a much larger hospital (Royal children's) instead of my local hospital and my parents think I could be made to stay and that we will be back there many many times this year which really scares me because I hate hospitals. 

Ughh I just needed to get all of this out. 

Re: It's all becoming too hard!!!

Hey @cookie809 Thanks for getting on the forums and sharing your story. It has been a tough road for you! I'm so sorry for what you've been through. You made a great choice getting in touch with coping resources such as ReachOut to help manage and make you feel well connected. What do you have planned for today? 

 

Also, Do you call any helplines for support? If you feel unsafe and need help now please contact Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 to speak to a professional counsellor. 

 

Take Care,

 

~Lina /RO

 

 

Re: It's all becoming too hard!!!

Hi @cookie809, thank you for taking the step of contacting ReachOut. We're glad this is a space you can express and share what's been going on for you.

Just checking in to see how you're doing at the moment?

If you haven't already, I'd definitely encourage you to try a call service like Kids Helpline. (1800 55 1800)

// Spiral outward, keep going. //