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Lack of affection

this is the simplest way I find to describe life. First, you need to eat food, and once you have accomplished that, then you feel you need to be secure when you achieve the first two steps you now want to feel you are appreciated. When you have accomplished these three steps, you feel necessity to reach your fullest potential in every areas of your life-this is the part where you feel no worries if you do so. Personally, I feel I'm not appreciated, lack of affection and loneliness and don't seem I can make it through. Loneliness damages self-esteem badly. Can you help? Do you have any idea to stop feeling lonely?

Re: Lack of affection

Hey @Aqui - wow, you've just pretty much described Maslow's heirarchy of needs, which is a psychological theory about what people need and what motivates them. The idea is that people need to have their needs met on the first layer before they can really go after things on the second level and so on... So congrats on figuring out a theory of psychology all on your own!!!
Here is a diagram of it




Sorry you are experiencing such lonliness... hope this info helps

Online Community Manager

Re: Lack of affection

Wow I didn't know there was a diagram to see it clearer. I also found very helpful Coping Strategies to Overcome Loneliness. Thank you!

Re: Lack of affection

That's brilliant how you described that @Aqui! I'm also glad to hear you found some coping strategies for loneliness. I wonder if you know there are a few other cool articles here on RO that might help: having a hard time with friends, steps to improve self-esteem, making friends, and meeting new people.


Let us know if you find these helpful and look forward to learning more about psychological theories with you Smiley Wink

Re: Lack of affection

Hi @Aqui 


My personal advice would be to find the things you love and focus on them.


In my expereince when we are passionate about things, often friends and social relationships become a by product and perhaps even appreciation if you are particularly good at something in particular.


However, if you are feeling lonely, it could be easy to do an activity to get acceptance and appreciation rather than out of genuinly loving the activity. In the long run this doesnt seem like a sustainable or acceptable strategy so really the best thing is to focus on what pleases you.


What are a few interests and hobbies you have and enjoy doing?


Oh another tip is to get a job that that has high customer service. Im at a point where I care a lot about study and stuff and cant always be be bothered catching up with people. But when I go to work I see lots of co-workers and talk to lots of customers which helps fill a lot of social needs (plus I get paid for it Smiley Tongue)

Re: Lack of affection

Hey @Aqui


Sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely. @Kit posted a bunch of links to pages here on RO that I think might be of interest of you too. 


@Troy also raised a good point about work! I've made some awesome friends, often people I wouldn't typically meet otherwise, through work. You could also try doing volunteer work in an area that you're interested in - it really helps to have some common ground when you're building friendships Smiley Happy


Feel free to let us know how you go.